Kate18

Removed

First craving of the day, with coffee. Was going to have green tea, but forgot to steep it in cold brew fashion last night. Coffee it is.

Imagining smoking and how satisfying it would be to relieve the discomfort of this change in ritual and drug withdrawal.

Continued with the imagery, though, on to having cataracts and being blind, losing my job and home, and dying young with my kids grieving. 

By the time I was finished imagining, the craving passed. Left me in a blue mood, though. Going to imagine something more uplifting next craving.

6 minutes ago, jillar said:

That's a great idea Kate. And if you really want to keep your hands busy you could make the bean bags yourself

Now *there's a thought! Good idea, especially when I read the complaints online (on America's favorite online place) about various juggling ball sets. I want the kind that don't roll away. I have that kind, and spend more time searching out the balls under furniture than juggling. Thanks, Jillar, great idea.

Yes, and now, again. I just finished watching a charming movie before going to bed. Now is when I would have smoked. Instead, I practiced twirling my pen between my fingers for a minute or two. It's tougher than it looks. Started off with the pen as pseudo-cigarette. I think I'll order small bean bags online and learn to juggle through my cravings. It'll be a new skill. New neurons forming and old ones being pruned away.

Jillar, it feels so silly, the air cigarette smoking. Not as foolish as having a real cigarette between my fingers. 

Getting the urge again...still. Time to read some posts from other quitters

8 hours ago, jillar said:

Yes Kate, PLEASE at least try using the air cigarette. It really did the job at getting me through the cravings. You've been at this a long time, years, so at this point it wouldn't hurt to try the clues that worked for us. 

I REALLY want you to succeed and I know you can. You just have to believe it too  

Thanks, jillar, I will try it. Now, as I'm reading posts

8 hours ago, Sazerac said:

 

The sooner you switch up your patterns and triggers the easier this will be, Kate.

 

S

The after-dinner craving has settled in. Had an ice cream bar as a reward for getting through it. 

That's a heavy one, after dinner. Made it, though. On to the next.

1 hour ago, Sazerac said:

You may find this interesting,

Red Flags

Excellent, thank you Sazerac. Very helpful.

And now, because I've run out of things to eat, and the dog doesn't want to go for a walk, I'm going to sleep.

Efforts to visualize the reality of addiction instead of feeling the craving are not very effective. 

Avoidance is next tactic. Go to sleep.