Cbdave

Gday Im Chris 4 years quit and determined to stay that way! nothing much to report on and frankly like to keep this year dull, uneventful and boringly heathy.

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day Lived for years in the Nth of Sydney which is funnel web central. You have to approach them with a bit of common sense. They are a bug. They live on the ground. Everything tries to either eat them or tread on them so they hide. You just don’t leave anything on the floor. Children just have to learn no to leave thier cloths or towels or shoes on the floor or else the spiders will get you. Works ....great motivator spiders. Must admit can’t put a shoe on these days without shaking it out. Like I said they are just a bug. Can’t take out a bear or tiger or lion with a can of insect spray can you but my wife can dispatch one of these buggers with ease. Takes about 1/2 a can and the poor beggars die of frost bite from the propellant evaporating long before the poison kills them. Dogs and cats don’t react to the venom like humans. My animals had a grand time stir one up and it will have a go at you..... they had a ball till the legs fell off their new toy. So my job was easy just pick up the leg less or 1/2 frozen carcasses for disposal.

G’day NOPE cause it’s friday

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day Ha Ha that cracks me up! ..... Thanks

G’day Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.... MAN: Hello WOMAN: Hi Honey, its me. Are you at the club? MAN: Yes. WOMAN: Im at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. Its only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it? MAN: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. WOMAN: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked. MAN: How much? WOMAN: $90,000. ; MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. Theyre asking $980,000 for it. MAN: Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. Theyll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if its what you really want. WOMAN: OK. Ill see you later! I love you so much! MAN: Bye! I love you, too. The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, Anyone know whos phone this is." ?

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day NOPE NOPE NOPE

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day bushfire humour got it from the convict side

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day 125mm last night.... 5 inches. Lotsa places out west got some rains as well but not all. Not drought breaking but you got to start somewhere....

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day Got blocked carotid arteries. Caused a series of “TIAs” so called mini strokes. None of the usual boxes are ticked except (ex) smoker and over 60 (just). Shit! I’m an ex smoker and this still happens! They unblock one side surgically. Next Stoke lands me in the major stroke ward. Pretty scared I spend my time trying to remember who’s the current prime minister and what date is it. Theres not much sleep to be had and apparently I was there for 2 days but it seemed like overnight. I walk out but 2 got out with blankets over their heads. I survived but others didn’t. I was a 3 year non smoker. That was my mantra. I kept telling them I gave up 10th oct 2015. Who gives a shit what date it was that day. I survived cause I’d given the smokes away. Gave me the edge. Had to earn the right (sensibly) to drive again. Was able to keep working part time. Just. That was a year ago. Still can’t remember much from that time but I’m still here. And happy to be that non smoker! Yep happy to give myself that title. Not One Puff Ever Chris

G’day A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee. Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to convert it to their religion.... Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. Well, he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Bible. Well, that bear came after me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip. 'I went out and found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from the Bible! But that bear came after me. We wrestled down one hill, until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day Amazing what a bit of rain can do. pic is the block that burnt and got my brother evacuated from his work. The green looks pretty cool on the black trunks. so Australia is again open for business and I promise the Great Barrier Reef didn’t burn

G’day The “bin chicken” is actually the royal ibis from Egypt. We even except birds as refugees .... bloody refos

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... replace Ever with Min Hour Day as required!

G’day Good on ya!

Gday NOPE the way to start the day

G’day Smoking sucks! .... big time