@Kris, yes, you have had a tough time! That's why it is so important to take smoking poison sticks off the table!!
Having a stroke while at work did it for me. Threw away the cigs as I was transported to the hospital! Good thing I quit when I did...because just after my 1 year quitversary...I had to have a CABGx3 (a triple bypass open heart surgery). I was also diagnosed with very early stage emphysema after that. I seemed to be seeing one doctor after another (neurologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, dermatologist) and was lucky that all I had to do was quit smoking (after 40+ years). I was filled with anxiety and anger about why did I smoke so long - I knew all about the damage I was causing to my body through the years!
Needed to get my personal life in order and thanks to help from family and friends along with online support from 2 quit smoking support groups (QSMB and QuitTrain), I started to slowly get back on track (no pun intended!).
Today, I am much more focused on my health and the man I now share my life with. The anger and anxiety has really lessened...well, as much as it could while enduring these pandemic times. 😷
Stay strong....!