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I was saddened to read ,you have smoked..with your health issues, staying quit is sooooo important.. Learn by this...yes those cancer cigs are still as horrible and will kill you ,just as they have always done.. Ask yourself what you can do different..so this doesn't happen again.... You have to be prepared ,for when the urges pop up... Dust down...let'get this done.!!!!

"Never give up! Keep trying........" I had a reaction when I reached this part of your post. It seems to me that this right here is what lies at the heart of your relapse. As long as you continue to "try" you will continue to struggle. This is how it has worked (and also not worked) for me anyway. In previous quits, I definitely remember that feeling of trying to quit. I'd even say it out loud if offered a smoke. "No thanks. I'm trying to quit". In all those previous quit attempts that's as far as it went- trying. Inevitably, the moment comes when you're just not trying hard enough. Or something else is just trying harder to get you to smoke. In my view, it was the mindset that smoking is not, under any circumstances, an option. It doesn't matter what kind of physical, mental, emotional, situational chaos is going on... there is no smoking. Period. Stop trying and just do.

What Doreen said Lisa. Feeling terrible about "choosing to smoke" again will not help you at all. Use this disappointment to double down on your determination to quit and stay quit! You need to want to quit MORE than you want to smoke again. Post an SOS if this happens again and let someone talk to you about what you are throwing away if you smoke even just one. We know these early days are tough. They were tough for all of us. No one is special in that regard. There were some times when I wanted to crawl into a hole and just hide or sleep and just not be wanting to smoke any more. We all have those times but you need to do whatever you need to in order to get past those moments. They will not last forever but, the addiction will if you keep feeding it. Let us help you with this Lisa. Come here as often as you can and read, post and interact with us so we know best how we can help you. You CAN do this Lisa