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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)
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Smoking sucks.

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easy peasy?

160 days. 5 months...1 week...2 days. Did I ever smoked...? Was all of that just a dream...? When I stop and think about when I smoked it feels like some distant memory... as if maybe it happened or maybe it was a dream... I dont know. That's what it feels like now. The other day I was watching someone smoke very closely. I was intrigued. Not because I wanted one but because I was seriously interested in what was happening before me. I started thinking to myself and imagining smoking... do I rem
leahcaR

leahcaR

3

11/04/2013

Nov-4-2013     I decided to quit cold turkey on November first. I decided it back in the beginning of October to give myself time to say my goodbyes to cigarettes. I have a friend who has quit several times via chantix usually and relapses. This is my first attempt and I just want to do it cold turkey. First 24 hours were great 2nd 24 hours great/not bad. Then last night my friend got weird on me when I just said I was nervous about going to work and not smoking on my breaks and he then lays
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/06/2013

Nov-6-2013     Feeling a panic attack coming. I have been fine. I haven't wanted a cigarette. I just heard some news (long story) about a reason I didn't get a promotion only to find out that same reason didn't apply to someone else for something different. which they pride themselves on saying they treat everyone the same. Beside the point. I am on the verge of an anxiety attack. I am in a place where it would be amazingly simple to ask any of my tens of friends for a cigarette. two
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/06/2013 2

Nov-6-2013     I grew up in a house where no one smoked. I was never around it. Then I got to high school, got a job and I remember a great friend that was a few years older than I was a pack a day smoker. I thought she was pretty cool and we always had so much fun. She never asked me to smoke, I wasn't even of legal age at the time. I didn't want to...I just remember in the back of my mind thinking it made her look cool the way she told funny stories while puffing on a cigarette. Then one da
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/08/2013

Nov-8-2013   Seven days. I know to so many on here it doesnt seem like much. To me it seems crazy. It use to seem unimaginable. I've noticed some things. I always thought if I ever tried to quit that the entire time I was going to be wanting one...thinking about one....obsessing. I thought that would be every second of every day. It sounded like misery. When I quit on November 1st I coincidentally had gotten sick and so it made it easier because eh cigarettes arent that good when you ha
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/16/2013

Nov-16-2013   Today, an extreme stressor happened. It was completely my fault. I was turning left and got a text and looked down at the screen to see what it said. Which is obviously a big no-no. as I started turning is when I was looking at it and I made way too wide of a turn and ran up the small curb and knocked out a fire hydrant. completely jacked up the the front right of my vehicle...popped my tire messed up the wheel. And, for the first time had an air bag deployed in my face. w
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/14/2013

Nov-14-2013     Tomorrow is two weeks not smoking and then one week until my skeptical friend (who was unsupportive on the beginning) owes me lunch. Just lunch from the restaurant in work but still it's a victory over the know-it-all so I'll take it.   I never would have imagined id ever make it this far let alone want to quit. I am also shocked at how it wasn't like pulling teeth which is how I imagined. I thought it would be excruciating to ever not smoke and completely impossible. So I a
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/13/2013

Nov-13-2013     theres a gas station right up my road, so obviously that is where I would always get my cigarettes from. Ive lived at this place for three years almost so they know me pretty well...plus I have worked right by there for about 5 years. Usually when I walk in I go grab a water and a granola bar and by the time I'm at the counter they are already ringing up two packs of the cigarettes I used to smoke. I havent gone in there as much as I normally did, since I used to go almost
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/17/2013

Nov-17-2013   Being stuck in not having the option to leave and go somewhere makes me feel so confined. Maybe I want to go to the store....maybe I want to go see a friend...maybe I want to go visit a family member. But I am stuck here because I wrecked my car and this is my only option. sitting here...finding things to do here....which is probably what I would have done anyway but knowing that I cant makes me want to go out and do anything and everything and it tortures me more knowing that
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/23/2013

Nov-23-2013   Yay 21 days. The amount of days one of my good friends said I could not make it and would fail. I just love shoving that in their know-it-all-face. Feels so good. The funny thing is I was off today so didn't really get to rub it in but yesterday when i worked half a day I did mention that tomorrow (today) was 21 days. and They said that they were proud of me and shocked that I did it. I told them it was easier than I thought it would be (which I kind of felt bad seeing as h
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/24/2013

Nov-24-2013     So I feel good. I made it into week three and it's been easier than I imagined, as I have said. I still am waiting for my car so I can't drive to my trail I have to run the loop around my complex, but for some reason my ankles prefer my trail to the concrete sidewalk I suppose. Either way I got a little run in. I hate winter and really need to invest in some winter running clothing.   Today I found myself bored. Not really wanting a cigarette but thinking how it would help
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/26/2013

Nov-26-2013   I never believed anyone that after you quit you have dreams about smoking. However, last night I had the strangest dreams. there were two murders I was witness too and the last one was right before I woke up and was extremely brutal what was happening. Normally this stuff will wake me up, so weird. but in the middle of the two I had a dream I was at work, I believe, and i was trying to get someone to give me a cigarette...someone I didnt know, because I was quit in my dream an
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

11/28/2013

Nov-28-2013   Tomorrow will be 4 weeks for me. I can't believe it. I've never wanted to quit before. I played with it a few years ago for 24 hours to see what would happen with nicorette but it just didn't seem worth it and I did not want to quit. Like anyone else I never wanted to become a smoker...never sat down and decided I was going to become a pack or so a day smoker. One day I just woke up and realized I was and sighed a little and just accepted it. Any time Id even fathom the ide
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

12/19/2013 - 01/24/2014

Dec-19-2013     Sh** really strong trigger. So I know in one of my original posts I said I took a huge paycut to get into a department of my company that I wanted a certain position in and that I really couldn't afford it. Well finally a position I really want and really need came open and I have an interview tomorrow at 1pm. I found out yesterday morning. Was fine trigger wise all yesterday, I'm assuming because I was excited. But then I couldn't sleep last night. I'm running on a few hours
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

03/12/2014

Mar-12-2014   Hello all! It's been a while. I feel bad for not being on here more frequently seeing as how I've turned to this place a couple times for support and then got busy or preoccupied and disappeared. I am still grateful for finding this place. I used this place a lot in the very beginning because it was really nice seeing and reading about people going through the same experience. Then I realized that quitting was so much easier than I thought it was going to be. And the more
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

03/15/2014

Mar-15-2014     I went to the mall and spent maybe too much money. I was thinking maybe I should put some stuff back. Then I opened my quit smoking app and saw that I've saved 670 dollars in the past 4.5 months. The voice in my head then said "nah girl, you're cool. You do your thing." ...and then I picked up a 20 dollar tube of mascara. Why? Because I deserved it, that's why.
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

Spring

I remember, in passing, reading about seasonal changes when you quit being triggers. I kind of laughed about it. What silly people. It's easy to quit... I don't see why a season change should make it any more difficult... ESPECIALLY if you are further into your quit. Silly talk.   I'd be completely lying if I said this onslaught of Spring weather didn't bug me in the slightest. I quit in the beginning of November... winter was starting... no way in hell did I want to go outside and smo
leahcaR

leahcaR

0

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