11/04/2013

Nov-4-2013

I decided to quit cold turkey on November first. I decided it back in the beginning of October to give myself time to say my goodbyes to cigarettes. I have a friend who has quit several times via chantix usually and relapses. This is my first attempt and I just want to do it cold turkey. First 24 hours were great 2nd 24 hours great/not bad. Then last night my friend got weird on me when I just said I was nervous about going to work and not smoking on my breaks and he then lays into me to not post n fb about my quitting (which has all been positive stuff and only 24 hours in between bc I have family members all over the place interested in this) he gets rude and after I told him I'm only posting to share with my friends and family he told me to either quit being a d**k or start smoking. I wasn't being one. Then today he talks to one of our mutual mostly mine, friends and says she's making excuses for my by defending me and saying I probably post about it for support and there is nothing wrong with it. Anyway after work we are talking and trying to work it out and I am just bawling. Uncontrollably. I don't know if it is because this friend or if it's the nicotine withdrawal hitting me all the sudden. Or both. It was 72 hours about 7 hours ago. I know I can do this I really thought I knew I could. I don't want to prove him right. And really I don't want a cigarette. I quit because a couple months ago I started running again and love it and know ll be better without the cigarettes. I haven't wanted a cigarette this whole time. But I am finally able to not cry as I write this. I just feel very sad. Is this nicotine withdrawal or am I being a baby about this friend I thought was going to be supportive

My emotions are all over the place today, but I had kept it all together so well since Friday. I don't think it's the fact that they are saying those things, I think it is because this is a friend who has tried to get me to quit for nearly a year (as he bounced back and forth quitting for a month and smoking again) and he was so happy when I finally decided to quit I really thought I could rely on him for support. My feelings just got hurt and I feel like an adolescent as I normally am not this emotional over someone being critical about something I am doing or how I am doing it. I feel like I am some hardcore illegal drug user who quit with no help.