It's good until it's gone

 

Has a baby ever fallen from a storks mouth in midflight?

 

 

That's a good question, I'll ask a stork next time I see one

 

 

 

Is Wile E. Coyote stricken with bad luck or is he just low on intelligence?

Bad luck, no doubt about it

 

If a piggy bank got it's name from pigs eating everything then why is its coin slot in the middle of its back and not his mouth?

 

 

Otherwise the money will fall out

 

What is it that turns a clown from good to evil?

Stupid questions

 

Why are they called donuts if most of them don't have nuts?

Because it's nut shaped and made of dough

Nut

 

Are beer nuts made from beer?

No but they go really good with it

 

How do mermaids go to the bathroom?

Floating on their back

 

Why is it called outhouse instead of outtoilet?

Because it's a house...........outside

 

If you rob Peter to pay Paul do you have to pay everyone named Paul?

No, you go to jail for robbing Peter

 

Are crocs(shoes) named after crocodiles?

Yes because they both should be stayed away from. Crocodiles will kill you and crocs will kill your chance of getting a date 😂

 

What's the difference between a toilet and a commode?

 

 

What's the difference if you drop a deuce in it

 

Why are bars named after a weapon (clubs)?

Because people go in, get drunk and become weapons of mass stupidity

 

Do people who say "that tastes like shit" know what shit tastes like and if so why do they know this?

 

The correct term for these people is shit talkers

 

Why does someone ask you to try something even though they know it's spoiled?

Stupid loves company

 

Do you have to study for a paternity test?

Yes but there is only one question on the test. Do you know the difference between a balloon and a condom?

 

Do you think that the pregnancy tests should be graded on a curve?

Yes

 

How does the dictionary know it got all the words and definitions right?

The dictionary is an inanimate object with no thought

 

How come a football pool is not a swimming pool shaped like a football?

It is in college towns

 

If the dictionary is inanimate with no thought how'd it think up all them words to put in it?

Mr Webster thought up those words

 

Why do they call that burlesque dance the can can?

Because they can.......can 😂😂

 

If I think I can and I can't does that mean that if I think I will I wont?

Yes and admitting it is have the battle

 

Why is the store on a military base called the commissary?

Commissary sounds better

 

If stupid is as stupid does, who is stupid?

 

 

People who use that phrase

 

So, is life like a box of chocolates or a bag of peanut brittle?

Mine's like a bag of rocks

 

What should I do to keep from biting my tongue?