Head should always be given never bought

 

Ever skip words when you're reading?

No but I've skipped stones when I'm eating

 

Does a stupid person know it?

I do

 

Why haven't I learnt my lesson with those words yet?

Because you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

 

What are life lessons?

Memorable

 

Why would you want to fight the moonlight?

Because your a reluctant werewolf who doesn't embrace your inner beast.

 

Is prevention really better than the cure?

Depends on what ails you

 

Why can't you taste your tongue?

cos I don't smoke anymore and its no longer an ashtray.

 

Why can't you see the inside of your eyelids why you close your eyes?

Duh because it's dark

 

An Apple a day keeps the Dr away. Will this work on family members too?

If they're doctors yes.

 

Is an apple the only fruit it works with?

I've heard a cantaloupe works too if thrown on target

 

If I've done nothing all day haven't I done something?

Edited August 7, 20188 yr by jillar

Yes, succeeded. 

 

Is it possible to have a competitive apathy contest? 

Certainly, it's called divorce court

 

How can you tell when you're done doing nothing?

because you are doing something because you can't be doing nothing if your doing something because if your doing something your not doing nothing and not doing nothing means your doing something so you must be done doing nothing or something like that.

 

Why can't you sneeze and keep your eyes open?

It's self preservation in case something comes out with the sneeze

 

If I keep an open mind will my brain fall out?

I think it depends on how big the opening is.

 

What is  a care factor?

It's an old people's home where staff can't see y. 

 

How did I find the motivation to answer that? 

Did your missus put a rocket up your arse?

 

If a taste tester had a blocked nose could they do their job?

Yes how else do you explain vegemite

 

Are there any Aussie icons that are sacrosanct? 

Why ask a question you know you just violated and act all innocent, next you´ll be slaggin of frickin timtams, or the don or our dawnie.

 

Why would ya call a bloody clock ben?

You wouldn't. Big Ben is the bloody bell. It is easy to remember b for big, ben and bell. 

 

Am I being grouchy and pernickety? 

Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooo!

 

Am I being an obnoxious brat?

You'll need to try harder than that. Do you know any kids that can give you lessons. 

 

Can you try harder? 

 

Well.... if I knew what I was to try harder I absolutely positively maybe could.. 

 

 

Could you be any clearer than mud ?

The real question is why would I want to be clearer than mud. Then you could hold me to account!

 

How irresponsible can you get?