Maybe it's working up to it but has one too many brownies inside today. Maybe tomorrow.

 

Why's the weekend not the weekstart? Wouldn't that get the week off to a better beginning?

Because its better have a pot a gold at the end of a shlt week.

 

Have you ever looked at early 20s kids and thought...shlt I was like that?

Edited April 6, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

No but I've looked at early 40s kids and thought shit what did I come into this room for.

 

Are your thoughts worth a penny?

Edited April 7, 20188 yr by Sslip

Wots a penny?

 

Sometimes, isn't it worth crying over spilt milk.

Only if you don't have a cat

 

If it's tourist season why can't we hunt them?

Oh but you can, you just have to make sure you don't get caught. ??

 

 

Why didn't they keep coffee coke?

 

People were getting so hyped up from it they were jumping around with the kangaroos opening Coke up to possible lawsuits

 

If man evolved from monkeys and apes why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Don't ya think nature likes to hedge her bets, just incase.

 

If time travel isn't true why do all cultures on earth have stories involving magic mirrors that talk to you...isn't that just a monitor?

Those mirrors just tell you who is the fairest of them all. For time travel you need a Delorian

 

Can fat people skinny dip?

As long as the body of water is big enough

 

Is it wrong that I am worried about the irregularity of @notsmokinjo's periods?

Only if you didn't wear a condom

 

Isn't a lime just a green lemon?

Isn't that kind like saying an American is just a southern Canadian.

 

Should I be surprised that @Sslipn slide is paying so much attention to my punctuation??.....

I see you got your period back (looks a little heavy) so that should ease his mind

 

Is it wrong to tell the drive thru fast food person that my order is to go?

 

 

 

Is it wrong for them to reply "No shit sherlock"?

 

If a train leaves Dover travelling at 30 miles per hour, does the train driver not realize how much of a shit hole it is?

 

Edited April 8, 20188 yr by Sslip

Yes, that's why he's only going 30!

 

What's love got to do with it?

Not a lot, but we got it cheap because it's second hand. Thought we'd give it a shot.

 

 

Is Cher totally straight or could Tina Turner?

Possibly as long as they're not interrupted by Christopher Walken in on them

 

Is whale sperm the reason the ocean is so salty?

Edited April 9, 20188 yr by jillar

Do you think it would be sweeter if they ate pineapples?

 

If Bing had grown up in Australia what colour Christmas would he gave dreamed of?

 

I reckon still a white one, but Zinc Oxide instead. He and Bowie would have had a different look for Little Drummer Boy.

 

How do you make a Lesbian wine?

Dunno, but if ya grab a guys balls real hard, squeeze, then twist he will whine, gay or straight.

 

How long is a piece of string?

An average piece of string is approximately 4 feet +/- 3 feet

 

If Tarzan was raised by monkeys who taught him how to talk?

He was a toddler when his dad died so he probably already knew.

 

Why when someone mentions nits does your head get itchy?

 

 

For the same reason you start frantically wiping yourself all over when you run into a spider web

 

My hubby keeps telling people he'll give them a ring, should I be worried?

 

 

Only if he's spending more on theirs than he did on yours.

 

Why would tossed salad make someone's day?

If you can't enjoy a good tossed salad then what's wrong with you? 

 

Is finding a piece of sweetcorn in your tossed salad off putting?