November 12, 201411 yr What do you call a cheap circumciism..............a rip off..... Who was the worlds first carpenter......eve....because she made Adams banana stand....
November 12, 201411 yr a bit of smutt for sally :) A bloke goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he as ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from that stag night that I laid on the pool table with all my mates watching, while your partner whipped me with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my @rse???" She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's maths teacher
November 12, 201411 yr A rabbit walks into a bar. He asks, "Have you got any carrots?""No," says the barman,"we're a pub. We sell beer, not carrots."The next day, the rabbit returns and asks, "Have you got any carrots?""Look," says the barman,"I've already told you yesterday: We're a pub. We sell beer, not carrots."The next day, the rabbit returns and asks, "Have you got any carrots?""Right," says the barman, " you're taking the mickey. If you come in here and ask for carrots again, I'm going to nail your ears to the bar."The next day, the rabbit returns and asks, "Have you got any nails?""NO!" shouts the barman."Have you got any carrots?"
November 12, 201411 yr Author I was walking down the street earlier with my husband,when he accused me of being ashamed to be seen with him.. THAT'S TOTAL BOLLOCKS...I replied by text from across the road....
November 12, 201411 yr A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbor with her problem. The neighbor says, "All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red." The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden naked for a few minutes. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the woman's house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. The woman says "No, they're still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!"
November 12, 201411 yr Author http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTlKpEFn94E Fingers crossed ...if its works.....it will be a huge achievement...soooo
November 12, 201411 yr http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTlKpEFn94E Fingers crossed ...if its works.....it will be a huge achievement...soooo Yay mammy! You do it for our Sal! :)
November 12, 201411 yr Author O.m.g.....I too am a genius.....action get the vodka out....this day is a day to celebrate....xxxx
November 12, 201411 yr Congratulations Sister ! Awe inspiring. The World is no longer Safe ! Funny, I can't get the player to appear in a post on my birthday celebration thread upstairs ! Is this a weird trade ? WTF ? Nancy stealing likes again and YOU stealing url capabilities....what next fgs ? Hope those Ding/Dong sisters don't blow up my signature ! :P Love you all, every one. S
November 12, 201411 yr Author Geez.....have I broke the quit train.....nooo surely not..... Hope someone who is just a bit clever than me can help..... I know it will hard to find someone....since now I'm a I pad specialist... Off to find some stuff..... Hugs Xxx
November 12, 201411 yr O.m.g.....I too am a genius.....action get the vodka out....this day is a day to celebrate....xxxx Congratulations Sister ! Awe inspiring. The World is no longer Safe ! Funny, I can't get the player to appear in a post on my birthday celebration thread upstairs ! Is this a weird trade ? WTF ? Nancy stealing likes again and YOU stealing url capabilities....what next fgs ? Hope those Ding/Dong sisters don't blow up my signature ! :P Love you all, every one. S Geez.....have I broke the quit train.....nooo surely not..... Hope someone who is just a bit clever than me can help..... I know it will hard to find someone....since now I'm a I pad specialist... Off to find some stuff..... Hugs Xxx you gals crack me up! Doreen, hoping to see lots of videos from you now! I'm so proud! :wub: Sally, hope you capabilities come back soon, as I love all of your pictures and videos!
November 12, 201411 yr a woman was at the hospital in a coma and the nurses noticed that everytime they gave her a sponge bath and washed her genitals they got some response out of her so when the womans husband came to see her the nurses told him about her reaction to the sponge bath. Then they told the husband that they thought if he'd have oral sex with his wife that it would bring her out of the coma. Although the husband was reluctant he told the nurses he'd do it. A few minutes later the wife flat lined. The nurses ran in the room and asked the husband what happened. He said I don't know. I think she choked to death.
November 12, 201411 yr A mom came home and heard loud screams and a buzzing sound coming from her daughters room. Concerned, the mom busted through the door and found her daughter using a vibrator on herself. The mom said ' what are you doing?' The daughter said " Mom, I am 35 years old and still live at home. This is as close to a husband as I'll ever get" The next day her father came home and heard the same sounds coming from her room. He busted in and found her using the vibrator and asked her what she was doing. She said " dad, I am 35 years old and still live at home. This is as close to a husband as I'll ever get." A few days later the mom came home and heard that same buzzing sound coming from the living room and when she walked in there she saw the vibrator buzzing away on the couch and her husband sitting in his chair watching football and downing a beer. She screams and asked her husband what he was doing and he said " I'm watching the game with my son in law"
November 13, 201411 yr Thank y'all for a great bday thread ! Thanks so much. :D Hope you had (and are having) a great day my dear :wub:
November 13, 201411 yr http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JuDo2DrLPYA ta da ! sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't. The Beverly Sisters ! so funny !
November 13, 201411 yr Author http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.romanov-gifts.com/ebay/paintings/GIRLS.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.ebay.com/itm/Oil-Painting-of-French-Victorian-young-Ladies-/160057216345&h=612&w=463&tbnid=Mo2UVKFDDiwItM:&zoom=1&q=ladies+in+paintings&docid=XTfw0MDyJBdIAM&hl=en-gb&ei=c85kVKNj5tjsBvyfgbgH&tbm=isch&client=safari&ved=0CD0QMygVMBU
November 11, 20169 yr Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?" "Honesty." "I don't think honesty is a weakness." "I don't give a f*ck what you think." Source: Jorgen Sundberg
November 12, 20169 yr Author Mick and Paddy are walking down the road. Paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand. He says to Mick,if you can quess how many doughnuts are in this bag,you can have them both...
November 12, 20169 yr A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.' The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied...... 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.
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