Hi, Diane. Destroy the smokes and throw them out. You are not pathetic for keeping them around. Just addicted.
But it’s time to show the addiction who’s boss through a clear act of defiance. Flush them, crush them, bury them in cat poop, whatever. Good riddance.
You deserve freedom from the bondage of addiction, freedom from the struggle, freedom from feeling lousy, freedom from the ambivalence of wanting/not wanting to smoke. You CAN do this! It gets easier if you give it time.
A turning point for me in my own quit came when I got good and mad at the cravings, mad at my junkie brain spinning bullsh—t lies (like I’d never be happy or complete without smoking…just crap), mad at the tobacco companies that got me hooked when I was just a child.
Find your fierce. It helps.