DenaliBlues

X-Files Extra

Quibble

Yuengling

nicotine

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Ouzo

Loch Ness Monster

Woo hoo!! You’re an a roll!!

Happy anniversary, @catlover!!! 7 years is so awesome. Sending you lots of love on this milestone day!

Thanks, everyone, for your support. Update: I'm six weeks into my combined chemo and antibody infusions now. It's been quite the ride. On one hand I'm doing great. I'm still working, which thank heavens I can do from home. I'm able to visit and play board games with my niece and nephew. I'm shouting at the TV when watching football. (Was on your side @Mac#23.) I'm trying to walk every day. I'm able to enjoy a little curry that my ex brought over from a post-funeral church luncheon. Normalcy, use it or lose it. And yet, nothing is remotely "normal" about this. Side effects are steadily growing, like an ominous movie soundtrack. I have headaches, body aches. I am losing strength in my hands. My hair is falling out. The nosebleeds are spectacular. And the brain fog, OMG. I keep focusing on the end-goal, that this is all to prevent recurrence. 90% of women with my kind of cancer who go through my protocol are cancer-free 5 years later. Untreated, that rate drops to 46%. So I AM gonna get through this, one way or another. It's a bit like quitting smoking, I guess. A leap of faith plus a lotta grit. Deeply discombobulating, but with its own momentum that carries you along after a while. I've wanted to smoke many times in recent weeks, but the desire doesn't stay. It's more of a strong recollection than an actual craving. I just let it pass. My new motto: Things Could Be worse! I could be stage 4 rather than stage 1. I could be having much more intense side effects. I am not alone. The funeral my ex went to wasn't mine, LOL. Thanks for your notes and prayers along the way. I'll take all the positive energy I can get.

Well done, @LPatto. You're on your way now! You are 100% right that withdrawal will NOT kill you. You may be challenged both physically and emotionally, though. Going through the final withdrawal might make you feel edgy, desperate. Your blood sugars, digestion and sleeping may be disrupted. Addict Mind will try to rationalize that just one puff can't hurt. But don't fall for the false logic. One puff inevitably leads to another and another. 1 is too many and 1,000 is never enough. Stay strong and don't give in. Say it out loud: NOPE. Get rid of all your vaping supplies. Cravings are not commands. They are just loud obnoxious commercials for something you don't wanna buy any more. Tune them out... stay busy... change the channel. Freedom from the compulsion is so sweet, on the other side. You CAN do this!

Toreador

jockstraps

NOPE

-12

^^^ this @LPatto, I am so sorry that you suffer! But you have come to the right place for help. First and foremost, educate yourself about ADDICTION. Vaping/smoking is not just a bad habit… not at your level of consumption. Nicotine is a chemical dependency every bit as serious as heroin. So you need to understand both the physiology and psychology of what is happening to you. It sounds like in a good faith attempt to wean yourself you have actually fallen more tightly into the grip of nicotine. By combining vaping + patches you are keeping your nicotine receptors constantly activated and hungry, which will intensify rather than reduce the cravings. A vicious circle. This is why weaning rarely works. There are many ways to quit: cold turkey, nicotine replacement, champix, 12-step programs, etc. Each has its merits and limits. All of them work when diligently followed. In your shoes I might suggest that you find a counselor/therapist that specializes in addiction or smoking cessation… someone who understands withdrawal and can help you through the anxiety and loss that quitting will stir up. I also would consider getting a second opinion about the champix or wellbutrin. But, as Uncle Penguin and Quitting Girl said, there is no way thru but thru. Withdrawal is miserable. But it gets better. It doesn’t last forever. I promise. Peace and freedom await you on the other side! You CAN do this.

-11

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