Warrior

thanks for the motivation but I am again smoking half a pack a day. I hate smoking but I cant let go. These days its a lot of pressure on certain business commitments and I have to light up. I dont know when this shit will stop. I have 3 lovely kids and a loving wife but I cant stop.

Now the thought is coming to my mind what will happen tomorrow at work will I be able to work or those widrawl symptoms are gonna make me cranky and prone to quarrel with everyone and as I am up late at night how will I stay awake tomorrow through out the day.

I got like 10 cigarettes in the car and I have broken and thrown many packs earlier, what should I do with this one. I am thinking that I keep it and dont smoke as a challenge or shall I throw it away again. I hate smoking but I am a slave I turn back always, this last time I was so confident but I started again after 30 days and smoking for the last 7 days again I am down from a pack a day to half a pack but I want to quit again and this time I dont want to be back ever ever.

The worst thing is that I am around people who smoke my business partner smokes we share a common desk so he lights up that gives me the craving, then I have friends from my teens they mostly smoke when I meet them they light up and I light up. The other thing is that I feel more confident and masculine when I light up. But I just feel like talking about my addiction more this may help me vent and ultimately stop. Once I am into smoking I get to a joint or 2 then after that it comes to a couple of splifs in the day. I am tired of all this.

I have been trying to quit for the last 21 years started smoking when I was 18, messed up my life was good at most sports, football, cricket, badminton etc. Started smoking with friends then ended up with joints in uni, then that continued along with smoking, to be honest I think I ruined my life with this one wrong choice in life got gerd now last month i had 227 cholesterol quit for a month then back on it again. Its like 2.28 at night i feel so bad cant breath well smokers breath, big belly, gerd, high chlestrol 3 beautiful kids and messing my life because of this addiction. When I smoke I feel relaxed thats why I light up every time, I feel depressed so I light up. need help i want to quit please.