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Courtesy of my grandma, God rest her angelic soul - here is the # 1 reason I gave not to quit smoking. I am dead serious. This story is all her. /////SCARY STORY #1: Every major holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) my grandparents would host dinner in their home; a huge feast ... I mean HUGE. And every year, and when I say every year, I mean every single year, every single holiday dinner, my grandmother (nani) - a nonsmoker of 30+ years would finish her meal, lean back in her chair, and say: "Boy, I sure could go for a cigarette right about now!" I would ask her, "Nani, are you for real craving a smoke?" and she would tell me YES! ///// Now, my rationale is this: if you can quit smoking for 30+ years and STILL crave a smoke after a meal then WTF is the point? Who wants to live like that? Certainly not me! I would rather go ahead and have the damn smoke! /////SCARY STORY #2: My mom smoked for about 30 years. Then when she turned 47, she needed heart bypass surgery. That's right, open heart surgery at the age of 47! The doctors told her if she didn't bother to quit smoking after the surgery, they might as well not bother even doing the surgery. So she quit cold turkey in the hospital/home. Today, my mom is 65. That's 18 years quit. Now she tells me at least once every six months that she wants to start smoking again. Arghh! I know she'll never smoke again ... but still, it upsets me when she says that to me! ///// I could never understand why anyone would want to give up their smokes for so long and still want one so many years later! I mean really, really, crave one! Obviously my thinking is a little different now, thanks very largely in part to the members of this board and Joel's videos. As you can see in the picture, my nani was a hot mama in 1947 (I think that's the date) I hope y'all like that I post pictures and it doesn't annoy you instead! Please let me know if it is annoying, I cross my heart & hope to die promise that I won't be upset if it is! Someone can just shoot me a message to my inbox, and that way I will know.

Wow, it is day 7 already - time has went by fast, kinda . . .take a look at this mish mash I made up - in no particular order, just a jumbled mess! I have some thoughts to share: First - Everyone is so super helpful here and I am more appreciative than I could ever express. I'd like to mail you all $20 bills & (((hugs))), lol - really. Second - I am sick and tired of suckers. I am open to suggestions that don't involve candy. My mouth is literally sore and there are sores on the roof of my mouth and my tongue from the suckers/candy. Plus it can't be good for my teeth either. Obviously. Third - I am still reeling over the fact that I am nicotine-free! I am so proud I must be beaming! Doing this without NRT's has been a very, very wise choice IMO. Fourth - I still want to smoke But I remain determined NOT TO! NOT ONE MORE PUFF! Other things worth mentioning today I suppose: - I wake up a lot during the night, I never used to do that. A train could roll thru my room & I wouldn't budge. But now I am up every couple hours. - I smell things I never smelled before. My under-eye make-up actually has a scent! I never knew that. So crazy! - Speaking of the nose, mine runs constantly now. It ran a LOT before, but now it's constant, which is making my throat hurt as well. - I can't pretend like I am all happy & nice right now, because I am the opposite. I am quite miserable to be around right now. I snap at people for little reason, etc. I am a very huge bitch (excuse my French, but that's the only way I know how to put it!) - I got a new diamond painting I have been working on, (Jack & Sally) - I will post a pic when I am done. It definitely keeps my mind off smokes! Sorry for the silly pic ... I am a picture person! I think it is important to take lots of pictures for memories and I am a silly girl lol Sorry for the rambling as well! I at least tried to keep it orderly. I just wanted to document this nonsense somewhere.

My dad died of lung cancer in September of 2006. I took care of him. I watched the horrors of the disease take over his mind and body. He was diagnosed at the end of April and it took just 5 short months to take his life. And in those 5 months, we LIVED at the doctor's office, hospital, chemo office, radiation office, emergency room - you name it, we were always there. Hardly ever at home until it came time for hospice to step in. You'd think that would have been enough for me to put the cigarettes down, but no. At least I am doing it today, I figure. I think he would at least be proud of that. My doctor harped on me endlessly about quitting because of my family history - stating how much more likely I am to get cancer because my immediate family member passed from it. You'd think that would also be enough for me to quit, hearing that every single time I go to the doctor! Doctors are smart, they know you, they care. right? My dad has just been on my mind a lot more lately than usual (he always is, but more lately) The pic is of my daddy holding me right after I was born. It's my favorite picture of me & him, always has been. Look for more blogs from me - y'all are gonna get to know me lol.. I am a very open & honest person, maybe too much so. But it is what it is ...