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I turned this upside down!!!!



This may end up being a mish-mash of random thoughts....I just feel the need to talk.  In 2003, I fell (crashed) ....slipped on water from dog bowl...long story cut short....fractured pelvis in 9 places,mostly right side.  Back has never and will never be great again.  Misdiagnosed twice in ER, finally saw PCP, got the MRI.  Technician asked, “ Honey, when was your car wreck?”  You get the idea.  3 months later, I was walking without the walker, and doing “fair.”  Kept working...I simply took call for the hospice, and would triage the calls-dispatch -ing staff as indicated. Was able to play 36 holes of golf, created a garden of

Eden in my back yard, walked 2-3 miles several times a week, did all the housework, cooking, etc.  

Worked ( RN) until 10/25/15, when I started having weird epigastric pain...continued on for about an hour....drove self to nearest ER, was in surgery by 6pm for an abdominal thoracic aneurysm.  Next day, I developed AFIB, Hypertension...told to see cardiologist within 2 weeks.  Was immediately re-

admitted to hospital for Ablation #1.   Another long story short....was able to return to work (working as case manager from home)...went through 4 more

ablations, without real improvement.  Have had numerous back injections and rhizotomy’s for back issues. ( each ablation was4-6 hours, with a requirement that I lie flat afterwards for 12 hours)....this always screwed up my lower back even worse.   Fast forward to 6/23/20...back to surgery for another aneurysm at the distal end of the previous one.  I am having another back procedure this coming Thursday.  
I have no stamina,strength,energy.  All cardiac meds have failed for AFIB.

I am 5’11”, and now weigh 108#.  I look and feel like death warmed over.  I have resistant hypertension.  All of my cardiac tests are “normal.”  
I enjoy my cigarettes.  This is nuts.  Lung function is still WNL.  
I am sick and tired of being a near invalid.  
At this point....I really feel that the one thing that I can do that just may make a difference....not smoke anymore.

I am a Christian.  Please send me prayers, mojo, magic potions, anything!!!!

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I’m sending you love, light, prayers, and all the good juju that I have. You must be discouraged but, please, never give up on yourself. Don’t stop fighting. 

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.


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