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Its Footy Finals.... Aussie Rules that is....

notsmokinjo

By notsmokinjo,
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notsmokinjo Mentor

notsmokinjo

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So the footy finals have started tonight and Melbourne has turned on the weather lovely sunny day, decent temp, decent wind get all the punters out to the MCG to watch the Tiges and the Hawks.... half an hour before kick off the sky did open and its been bucketing since....

 

I know most of you wont give a rats fat clacker wot we are doing down here with our footy but at least one of our train members has a team in the finals and saddly this week is do or die.... so our finals (kinda like play offs) are a bit different to comps up north... we have 18 teams who play 22 games throughout the season.... then the top 8 make the finals which are played over 4 weekends.... culminating in the Grand Final on the last Saturday in September .... so kinda like the US Super Bowl on a tighter budget....

 

This is week one of finals and yet again my boys failed to make it... good thing we have a long off season because they will all need some work on their backs as they have been holding every team bar two up for most of the season... (yes my team was shit this year, the not so mighty Saintas).... so here is how the top 8 finished up....

 

If you win the Grand Final (also called the Premiership) you get a the Premiership Cup and you get a Flag... so all 4 terms are interchangeable.

 

1. Richmond ... aka The Tigers or The Tiges .... wear black & yellow.... Victorian Team ..... Last years premiers .... I hate this team with a passion.

2. West Coast Eagles.... aka The Eagles, The Weagles, or West Coast ... Royal Blue & Yellow .... from Western Australia.... not my preferred choice.

3. Collingwood ... aka The Magpies, The Maggies, or The Pies .... blac , founded in k & white.... Victorian Team .... the most hated team by other clubs in the comp.

4. Hawthorne .... aka The Hawks .... Brown & Yellow (yep like stripes of poos and wees) .... Victorian Team ....  I spose if the other Vics are gone I'd cheer for them.

5. Melbourne .... aka The Demons or the Dees .... Red & Blue .... Victorian Team ....  So the Melbourne Football Team is the old continuous professional football club of any code of football in the world... they were established in 1958 and have fielded teams ever since.... so they tend to be the rich peoples team and its been a while between flags... I think most Victorians who don't have a club in these finals are chucking their lot in with Melbourne this year... they are a bit of an underdog.

6. Western Sydeny Giants .... aka The Giants .... Orange, White & Grey ..... NSW team .... new kids on the block, a new expansion team .... I think I  might even prefer the Tiges to beat them because they haven't earned a win yet the johnny come latelies... not like my boys who have been there from the start (VFL 1896) and have only won 1 and that was in1966 ...

7. Sydney Swans ... aka The Swans, The Swannies, The Bloods..... wear white & red.... NSW team.... although these are they guys I am barracking (cheering) for... oh, we don't root for teams in Australia cos it means something way different here).... so why is the most parochial Victorian on the face of this fine earth barracking for a NSW team... because they used to be a Melbourne team, they were South Melbourne and the first club I barracked for but when they moved to Sydney Dad said we had to find a new team, I was 5 I did what I was told.... Grandma however followed them her whole life so I am cheering them on for her.

8. Geelong ... aka The Cats.... wear blue and white.... a Victorian Team, founded in 1859 they are only one year younger than Melbourne.... So they are this seasons surprise packet with a list that was considered either too old or too young they have scraped their way into the finals.... so I'm half way between Melbourne & Geelong so have a soft spot for the old Pvssies.... but this week for them is do or die.

 

Lets all go AAWWW for the Crow Eaters & The Banana Bending Cane Toads (SA & QLD) cos their teams weren't good enough to make finals... see my tears they are from sorry not laughing my arse off promise.... specially for the Crow Eaters.

 

 

OK.... so here is how week one (Preliminary Finals) works

 

1 plays 4.... the winner gets a week off (A), the looser gets a second chance and plays next week (B). ... want Hawks to win but think Richmond will, especially in the wet.

2 plays 3 ....  the winner gets a week off (C), the looser gets a second chance and plays next week (D). .. . ... so it doesn't sit comfortable but I spose I barrack for the Pies.

5 plays 8 .... The winners plays next week (E), the looser's season is over.... so this game is a bit sad.... most of melbourne who don't have a team left in are torn, we kind of want both teams to win and don't want either to loose.... they played once during the home & away season and the Cats won by 2 points in a nail biter right on the final siren. It should be a stella game.

6 plays 7. ... The winner plays next week (F), the looser's season is over.... Carn the Bloods.

 

 

OK Week 2.... (elimination Finals)

A & C ... have the week off

 

B plays F ... Winner (G) plays next week, Looser's season is over.

D plays E .... Winner (H) plays next week, Looser's season is over.

 

 

Week 3 .... (Semi Finals)

 

A plays H ... Winner goes to Grand Final .... looser's season is over.

C plays G .... As above...

 

Week 4 .... Grand Final ... we get a public holiday on the Friday .... ha ha ha ..... Only in Melbourne would you get a public holiday for a footy game and another for a horse race.

 

So why am I posting this when chances are there is only 1 other person on the boards who gives a brass razoo??? Cos anything is better than watching an endless stream of Cinderella movies because someone is in a mood..... and not speaking to me.... so I am bored... I am reduced to listening to the first final on the tranny and I am just killing time until I can send her to bed.

 

 

Although if anyone is interested in picking a team and trying to learn footy during the finals period happy to have you jump on board... it is the greatest game on earth and one of the oldest codified team sports still being played.

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Doreensfree Grand Master

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know most of you wont give a rats fat clacker wot we are doing down here with our footy but at least one of our train members has a team in the finals and saddlythis week is do or die.... 

 

 

Give me a clue !!!...who I should hoop hoop for ....

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notsmokinjo Mentor

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Well.... @Doreensfree ... thinking along the lines of Liverpool... and your ties to Australia... probably the Swans or the Cats

 

So ...

 

The Swans are based in Sydney... so probably closes to your daughter.... they wear red & white (well white with a red V at the neck).... they were originally a warking class team supported by all he warfies (dock workers) back when they were South Melbourne. This club is older than Liverpool by 2 decades.

 

The Pies (Magpies).... are black and white... but are a working class club... that said they have the highest Membership of all the clubs... everyone loves to hate them... their supporters are the most feral and its a joke that to barrack for the Pies you need to be missing front teeth, have tattoos and be one eyed. They are a really young team, couldn't win a game at the start of the season and all the experts wrote them off so they are a bit of a surprise packet... if anyone other than Richmond can win its this lot. Collingwood was established that same year as Liverpool, 1892.

 

The Tigers ... as much as I hate this team they are looking like they will go back to back and win if you look at the stats... so why do I hate this team, they have a pretty cool club song (OK odd Aussie Rules fact but when the team wins the players sing the club song....and the supporters... every club has a song, my boys (The Saints) sing When The Saints Go Marching in).... Oh I could post the club songs that might help... ) ... they have shithouse supporters.... another working class club by tradition the Richmond supporters are what we call bandwagon supporters... when the club plays bad they have the lowest membership in the comp but as soon as they start to play good they come out of the woodwork and its nothing for the membership to double or tripple... and they are pigs... I would never take a child to a Richmond game they are just pigs and cruel and foul.

 

Hawks...Hawthorne... is just up the road from where your girl lived when she was in Melbourne,... they got thumped by the Tigers last night so don't waste the energy and they have the ugliest jumper in the game... who wears brown and yellow vertical stripes.... urgh.... poos and wees I tell you, poos and wees.

 

Geelong.... founded in 1859 the second oldest club... so Geelong is just up the road from Lara.... like maybe 10mins on the Western Freeway and the next stop on the train line. They are one of only two teams in the West of Melbourne.... Blue and White hoops on their jumper... one of the few clubs who have a real even mix of supporters because most fans are geographically based and Geelong is an even spread of povo, middle class, and rich... So Charles and Wills both went to Geelong Grammar for a year of high school.... if ya into the royals... now my kid, even thought they have the best dyslexia program in Australia would never go there because one year of fees is over $50,000 and so not in my price range. I do like their club song though...

 

Hmmm... I think you should either go Swans or Cats....Sydney or Geelong.... oh and Rugby League finals are about to start I would have said you should go for Melbourne Storm cos we are awesome but who knows what's happening with their finals all we know about is the fact one of the teams is in big trouble for having naked players in a pub during the day on their Mad Monday.... naughty naughty rugby players, never can keep there todgers in check.

 

 

 

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notsmokinjo Mentor

notsmokinjo

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Here is the swans song... now when you sing it at the game... there is no musical interlude.... but when it ends the whole crowd yells "Carn the Bloods"  (Carn = Come On) ... I think this was the first song I learnt because all my family were Swans supporters until they moved to Sydney.... then most switched to different Victorian clubs.

 

 

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notsmokinjo Mentor

notsmokinjo

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So its nearly the end of the first 1/4..... 33 Dees v 2 Cats.... Sadly the maggets (umpires) are giving them a helping hand... 18 of those points were bullshit free kicks... That said the cats are playing a bit crapish.... I'm watching at dad's cos he has a huge telly....an we are flicking to the rugby finals... My Melbourne storm is playing at home, score is 6-8.... South Sydney Rabitos are up.....

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notsmokinjo Mentor

notsmokinjo

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91,000+ in the crowd to watch the game.. 

 

At least the Cats are winning the jokes...

Umpire blows whistle with a cat on the ground and two dees on top of him: Free kick Geelong.

Touay the cat: oh goody.

Ump: not yours, Dangerfield's

Touay: can't I have it.

Ump: nope.

Touay: that sucks.. ( as he ran off)

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