Penguin

why

Every quit is different, but from my own experiences: The first week or so can feel pretty constant, but that's why they say, "One day at a time." You can and should break that down into smaller units as needed to get you through those cravings. A typical craving can last five minutes or so before the worst of it passes. You'll feel irritable and unbalanced for a while as you adjust to life without your fix. You might experience headache, stomach upset, and mood swings from irritable to depressed and back again. The more life experience you get without your fix, the more natural it will feel. Eventually you'll start doing things without thinking about your fix, and you'll feel better. Then some stressor will come out of the blue--you might not even notice it--and the cravings will feel fresh all over again. You'll have to be on your guard to fight against it, especially since you might become depressed over thinking you were past this stage and being here again somehow means you failed. That's a lie your brain might believe. It's natural for those cravings to crop up from things you might not even notice. As you succeed in resisting those cravings, your brain's software will be rewriting itself, in a manner of speaking. You'll be writing new "code" that says you can feel okay without your fix, and life works better without it. Of course, other things might crop up in the absence of smoking. Expect your thought patterns to change. Your moods will change. You're going from "I'm going to freebase this toxic cloud of countless chemicals into my lungs" to "I'm not doing that," so that shift can be jarring. Even so, the sooner you quit any and all smoking and adjacent behaviors, the better off you'll be. That means getting rid of the vape. Even if you don't use any nicotine, the action of vaping reinforces your habit. When I go to the coffee shop and they hand me my straw for my drink, if I hold it like I used to hold a cigarette, I can feel the smallest little tinge of a craving, even though I haven't held a cigarette in over a year. Personally, I had to remove myself from all of it. I trashed $300 to $400 USD in pipes, lighters, cigarettes, cases, cutters, stuffers, tampers, tubes, bags of tobacco, and even pipe cleaners. I can't be around the odor of tobacco, because it variably makes me ill and gets my wheels turning. You started your habit at a formative time in your life, when your brain was still writing its original software. That's why I recommend seeing a therapist, because it can be harder to rewrite that sort of coding. Generally speaking, I do recommend cold turkey, but if you do seek out a credentialed therapist, defer to their advice. For me personally, "I could just wean myself off" and other "I could just..." statements are my way of trying to negotiate with myself to smoke. Addicts do that; we try to bargain for our fix, creeping up to the line oh-so-subtly so we can reach across and hope no one notices, as if that's what matters. There's a scene in the comedy Tropic Thunder where a cocaine addict is tied up, and he starts to bargain with the group he's in to let him go. When that doesn't work, he resorts to threats. For all the nonsense in that movie, they actually painted a fairly accurate (if outlandish) visual of addiction. Be very wary of yourself trying to bargain or threaten you into continuing. You'll tell yourself you can have this part of your addiction. You'll tell yourself life will be worse without your addiction, as if the physical damage you do to yourself is somehow less worse than a few weeks of irritation and discomfort. That's your brain threatening you. Don't buy into the lies. Don't bargain. Get thee to a therapist, my son. Allies in this fight are a necessity. Unless your therapist says otherwise, I recommend cold turkey, but others might have different suggestions. Really, it's best if you can invite others to support you. Even my friends who still smoke support me in my quitting, and in the habits I've formed since I quit (like going for frequent walks to exercise my lungs a bit). Whatever allies you can find to cheer you on, that can be a huge boost for you.

My heart breaks for you, @LPatto, because I've felt that desperation and fear and misery. I tried so many times to quit before my quit finally stuck, and that was after my lung collapsed and I ended up in the hospital. Even now I face risks for increased illnesses, longterm lung damage, and more. I won't beat that drum too long or hard, since I'm sure you're well aware of the health risks. For many of us, that's a large part of the reason we think about quitting at all. I don't know what it will take for you, personally, to quit. I do know eventually you will need to throw away any and all nicotine in your life if you are ever going to be free from it. I also know that's a terrifying thought. Still, here is something for you to consider: you're going to be miserable either way. You can either continue smoking, knowing the damage you're doing to yourself and the ones you love, and be miserable, or you can quit and be miserable, but take comfort in the knowledge that as you trudge through the misery of going without your fix, you're getting healthier in the longterm. From what you've described, you might need the help of a therapist. That's up to you. I know that can get really expensive. The long and short of it is, you have to make and keep a commitment to never take another puff. It's that simple, and that difficult. There's no way out of that hell except through it. Again, you will be miserable either way, but one way you'll be miserable and hurting yourself, and the other way you'll be miserable and getting a little healthier one miserable moment at a time. You're between a rock and a hard place, my friend, but the good news is the misery of quitting doesn't last forever. Think of it like this: you won't die from not having your fix. It will be uncomfortable and maybe even painful, but it won't kill you. All you have to do is resolve to face the pain and discomfort and exist through it. I ended up in a hospital bed with a tube in my chest. I don't have kids, but I do have a niece, and I thought about what I'd done to myself and how it might affect her. I could excuse away the ramifications of my choices on my dad and sister, but there was no justification I could come up with for explaining to my niece why her Uncle Penguin was dying or dead because of choices he made. We'd all like to think highly of ourselves and say we'd do anything for the people who love us, but not everyone has to prove it. This is your chance to put your money where your mouth is, proverbially speaking. Your son picked up your vape and started down the road you now find yourself on. Surely you don't want what you're going through for him. Ask yourself if you're going to face misery and keep smoking--likely imparting that legacy to your son as he wants to be like you--or if you're going to face misery and quit, so that you might have a healthier life, and he might see your victory and learn from it? I'm reminded of a quote by C.S. Lewis: Your son is going to meet his share of cruel enemies in this world, including in the form of habits and mindsets. Consider how you can be brave and knightly for him. I know that might sound foolish and trite, but what you do will set an example for him. I highly advocate people quit smoking for themselves, but if considering your son's future will help you toward that path, you could begin at worse places. Put down the vape. Embrace the discomfort as the payment for your lessons learned as you grow in your victory. It's going to be hard. You will likely stumble and fall. Pobody's nerfect. What makes the difference between you and someone who stays in defeat is whether you're willing to get back on the horse no matter how many times you fall off of it. I suggest you stick with us, too, because you'll get the full gamut of tough love and gentle encouragement here in your quit journey. All of us want to see you succeed, and we will do everything in our power to cheer you on, but it's got to be you who makes the choice to live.

NOPE! I have too much to do today to even think about smoking.

It just occurred to me, @Kdad, that after I quit, I had to avoid any venue where smokes were sold. These days I can go into the local shop around the corner or the liquor store and get what I need without even thinking about the smokes, but in those first few months I bought anything I needed from the gas station elsewhere. If you ever find the temptation rising up again, you may consider cutting out any venue where smokes are sold, just because it'll be less available to you then.

NOPE! Things have super stressful here lately, but I still wouldn't trade all my progress for even a whiff of a cigarette. Don't want it, don't need it, not ever.

Congratulations on your accomplishment, @Reciprocity!

NOPE!

Well done!

Well okay then. Carry on. Thanks, @jillar!

Seems to me if there's a "stick of the day" thread, there should be a thread for chicks. That seems fair, doesn't it?

I don't recall ever having a dream involving smoking when I was smoker, but in the past 15 months I've had one about every three months. When I came to the forum I saw evidence of an "in-house" ticker the site used to support, but apparently that went by the wayside before I ever got here. Most of those I've seen (and my own) are all from Ticker Factory.

NOPE!

I took January as a "trial month" of sorts to figure out a workout plan. Part of what I'm doing today is putting the final touches on a workout plan that eases me into a full workout. Starting next week, I'll begin that regimen. Hopefully this time I won't collapse a lung.

I don't look forward to those situations, but in a unique way I've come to appreciate them as an opportunity to reinforce my quit. "Embrace the suck," as my military friends say, and sometimes you'll almost enjoy them as an opportunity to grow. It's not that you want it to happen, but if you see it as an opportunity to grow as a person, it makes the silver lining that much brighter.

NOPE!

I've had several interactions lately with a rather frustrating (but well-intended) person. I used to always smoke whenever I finished talking with them, and while the thought of, "I would usually smoke right now" has recently passed through my mind, I didn't want to seek out a cigarette. I'm not a big fan of intentionally putting myself through stress just to get used to it, but every time I organically experience something where I used to normally smoke and I make the choice not to, I can celebrate that it's reinforcing my quit.

NOPE!

NOPE!

I tried patches and gums at certain points before my final quit, but nothing ever worked for me. I'd be chewing the gum and pocket it in my cheek just to have a cigarette. When I finally quit, it was cold turkey--but a collapsed lung is a strong motivator. I had four days in the hospital to consider the ramifications of what would happen if I kept smoking, and that was enough for me.

NOPE! I'm going to the DMV today to get my ID, and no matter what, I'm not smoking. The only downside so far is I couldn't get there before they opened to wait with everyone else, or I'd have been around a bunch of smokers who never stand far enough away.