Brioski

00

00

-2

Thank you, thank you…. Hearing your responses (lol hearing…reading your responses) really helps. It’s one of the very few things that helps me is knowing some of you guys went through this same shit. Jillar I’ve thought of getting some old plates and throwing them at the rocks behind my house, I have a lot of acres so it wouldn’t matter but I would worry abt the animals/wildlife stepping on them so I’ll look for a place like that to go to. Great idea. I also called a few ppl to get started w a therapist. And plan to talk to my dr abt this weird depressed state, I don’t want to go on more meds but if that’s what I need so be it. Your words mean so much Jillar thank you. ❤️ The brats were salty lol. Christian those words were powerful. I sense a lot of similarities btwn our quits although it sounds like many many ppl go through this too. I think that’s it, I just have to literally force myself to do things that were once nothing day to day tasks that now seem utterly impossible, even painful, and accept that my mind is gonna wreck havoc on my mental and emotional state due to this addiction while going through the motions of life. It’s just scary as you mentioned that it seems like it’ll never go away. I trust you, and the others, that it will one day. I pray for that day to come. By the way, thanks for telling me all of that. ❤️ I have to admit something bad too….when hubs came home and I was a mess, a puddle, almost throwing and punching stuff…he said “why don’t you post on your train? Have you written to the people on the train and see what they say?”…and I said “**** that train!!” And for that I’m sorry.

Those all sound great, @darcy ❤️ I’m sorry you’re having a rough go, so am I. Hubs came home to me sobbing, like gutted sobbing, at the sink doing dishes. I said I seriously want to go buy a pack. Had keys in hand, crying. I feel like I’ve never felt before….depressed, unmotivated, sad, anxious, lazy, mad…like rage…like wanted to shove my metal fruit basket out of the window and break the kitchen window. I took a bottle of water and my anxiety med and went from just sat there staring out blankly for a while, to literally having a war within my head of going out to buy a pack to relieve this scary place I’m in or to suffer, literally feel like torture suffering until…who knows when bc it’s different for everybody. Then I smoked some weed. Then used my straw air cigarette. That helped I think. And now I’m typing to you guys. Hubs is making brats on the grill. I feel bad I’m such a wacko to him but he says it’s ok. Am I ok I don’t know.

-2

20!!! line up, sticks 🤲

-18

-18

Thank you so much, friends. You all mean so much to me. Even my mom, aunt, hubs, are all thankful for you guys….they tell me how wonderful it is that I have this support from you all. I can’t agree more. ❤️ I have to say, being the subject of a celebratory post was def cool. 🤓 hey….any computer graphic connoisseurs in the house? I was thinking for us 2023ers…. “Nic Free in 2023” @darcy, @Molly2310 what do ya think? 😂

-16

This is very interesting, as I’ve kind of stopped and asked myself recently, “why can’t I seem to physically get off of the couch, what do I love to do?, why am I crying multiple times a day, am I depressed?”…..I have never asked myself these questions. Whether it’s a true mental illness or just a mental blip I’m going through, I think learning about it will help me get through it. I found this video today and it helped me SO much (kind of long but it was good):

How are you doing, @darcy? ❤️

-17

@darcy, I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I’m not sure how much help I can be, as I’m having a hard time, too. This sucks, but like you said before how it’s great waking up as an ex smoker, I agree except it’s going to bed an ex smoker for me lol. One thing I’ve found helpful is reading about how soooo many people were absolutely miserable, anxious, depressed (sorry people /lol), and having all these big feelings we’re having, so we’re not some broken being, we’re being dragged through the same brush they were too. And they survived. Even tho a cig sounds good right now, the feeling of not breathing, literally flipping off each cig I used to smoke, being in the cold and rain, watching bugs and mice run past me when I smoked in the garage, being anxious, and trips to the hospital for smoking related shit, etc sounds worse. You can msg me anytime, I’m pretty much glued to this board and eating my feelings too (trying to be somewhat healthy but pish posh), even though I’m overweight to begin with prequit lol. I’m actually going to try and take a shower today, wash my bedding, and go to the store. I hope one of those things happen instead of watching tv or TikTok all day. But hey if that needs to happen so be it (I think that’s the first time I gave myself grace recently). Very good on you for getting this far, please keep going, I’m following you gf!!

-17

-17

-15

-15

@Christian99, that post is truly special to me. Thank you.

-15

Thank you, friends ❤️❤️ Is it considered a month though since I quit in Feb that only has 28 days? Lol. Regardless, thank you for the messages ❤️❤️ hopefully I won’t have too many more tear-filled, dopamine-depleted crazy lady posts, but I have a feeling there’s a few more a-coming! Lol

-13

-10

Wtg, Darcy!!!