Evelyn

I'm bisexual :P

9

Thanks Bakon, I first felt hurt... now I know you're trying to help.

Thanks

But not giving up

I haven't found the magic button yet

you tell me what to do

Guess you are right saying your the village idiot

NOPE

I am tough but not superwoman

It will be 4, going to fight for it. The reason I relapse is the emotional pain, I escape in smoking; I KNOW what the problem is. I do not want to smoke all day or more days, I always need that 3 or 4 to help me not cry - being truly honest now - also to you Bakon. I have severe PTSD from childhood and sometimes I get overwhelmed with, flashbacks, inner emotional pain or I even relive the past - it's THEN when I relapse. I do not enjoy smoking and maybe you're just gonna walk all over me, Bakon and others but THIS IS WHY! I hate myself for relapsing but am afraid to succeed too, hearing my father say I can't do anything right! Yes I am adult but this man screwed me, and my life up. He's dead and I'm in therapy for the trauma's but it's gonna be away *poof*... You say I'm stronger then I think, maybe but why am I 3 times a year hospitalized in a mental health clinic... because I'm in crisis. I'm not sorry for myself I kick myself back up but don't judge me when you have no clue how I'm surviving everyday. Life is sometimes hell for me and the last 10 years I can't remember having 1 freaking happy year. I always fight, survive. And I'trying to learn to start living instead of surviving. Your post Bakon, is not kicking me up... it's a picture of what I should have been. If I would not have been traumatized. And sadly enough someone tried to break me, I am in pieces but not broken. And don't you dare say 'I use it as an excuse' because I tried to be normal, without mentioning too much about my past and myself. But this is me, fighting everyday and I do not have a choice but to pick myself up after I smoked because I have severe asthma: people who know me say 'start smoking again' no not an option I refuse to continue smoking my whole life. But yes I have bumps in the road, trying to avoid them but I'm not freaking superwoman

Bakon you don't know me at all. 'What you can't see, isn't there, right?' Infact I deal with a mountain of mental health problems so do not judge me, it is no excuse but it is what I have to deal with. You might be all 'tough and unbreakable' but I ain't, ok?

3 days quit now

I quit smoking today cold turkey and I NOPE myself trough the day.

After my screw up it's a big NOPE

Last evening is was overwhelmed with flashbacks and smoked... quit this morning and I realise it's thin ice with my mental health issues but I'm not giving up.

We have the best no smoking gang you rock!

Yeah the appointment went well, I'm on the waitinglist now :)

LOL

My old glasses And after with my new glasses, don't mind the 'Jaws expression' on my face on the second pic LOL

We're in 2014, in the past it was normal to smoke, around children (I've experienced it myself)... Smoke in building on the planes, everywhere... before that when there was a party the partypooper put a glass with fifferent brands of cigs on the table for the guests... NOW in 2014 smoking is so over(d)rated and so many died the past years and so now I've quit I'll say no more... no more cigs NOPE Not for me What about you guys

Tomorrow :D

I skipped my nap :P

Hehe, Boris is one piggie who knows the goodlife, enough fat on him... Guus on the other hand only has a fat tummy... But my piggies don't end as Bakon. Dunno about Bakon himself

Action - dude... I conquered smokes, where are you to tell me 'I told you, you could do it'? LOL