barry

This is SERIOUS Quit #3.  

I'm in my mid-50's, and started smoking very young, around 11.  A pack a day from about 12 on.  For several years of my smoking career, I smoked over 2 packs (40+ cigarettes) per day.  

I want to make clear that I don't consider my resuming smoking as a "relapse".  It wasn't that I "slipped".  I made a conscious decision to start smoking again, intentionally.  Yes, one time it was because my boss pissed me off.  But that was more of a "last straw" type thing, as I had all but made the decision to resume smoking anyway, prior to that event.

The last time, my wife left me, and I truthfully just didn't care if I lived or died or was unhealthy or whatever the result of smoking was.

Since then, I have been blessed with 3 grandkids, and renewed relationships with several old friends (thanks to Facebook), most of whom don't smoke.  

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From @Kerry M.:
It really helped me to change the story I told myself about smoking.  I'm an adult, I CAN smoke. I CAN go pick up a pack and start smoking again anytime I like. I'm not some child that's been given a list of rules and grounded from my toys.  

The truth is I CHOOSE not to smoke today.  
I DON'T WANT TO SMOKE.  

It's an empowering shift in mindset and made me realize that I am the master of my own destiny.  It stopped the romanticizing that was so dangerous to my quit, and it stopped that feeling of deprivation.  You can do this!