Marie, the gum can be an invaluable tool at the start of your quit in order to eliminate the physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawal while you get used to not smoking.
I recommend a daily pledge of Nope and mean it. Just pledge first thing in the morning and then hold onto that tenaciously until you do the same again the next day. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, but if you can string those together one after another you will be successful.
I see from your blog that you have a lot going on in your life at the moment. Don't allow yourself to use that as an excuse or a get out. You want to do this for you, nobody else. If you can work out the reasons for that, it could be worth noting them down in the pre-respond topic in the SOS forum.
Remember you have dozens of people on your side here to help you both on the bad days, but also to help you celebrate the good. Stay close, read, post, hopefully have a bit of fun while you are here. It's in your power to do this!
Catch you around.
