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I am trying to write at least a bit each day. Several folks have suggested that sharing my quit journey can be useful for others. Not sure I have anything worth sharing. I am/have not been a person of eternal optimism. I do have passion and temerity when it comes to new things, learning and ways to heal. I find most people are uncomfortable speaking of or listening to things that are intense, morose and/or painful, that can often be defined by the term trauma. I have found that I (and many fabulous people I have encountered along the way) have developed an array of skills/tools that have allow us to cope/survive vs. thrive....or both. Wow, life is complex. Smoking was one of my longest standing skills, serving a situation and life that no longer exists in present tense. Yes, believe it or not sometimes addiction is a tool or skill (not at all romancing here, at least I hope not).... for me, just fact, sad and true. Good riddance to the tools/skills that do not enhance the best life possible. HELLO gorgeous smoke free life....a much more delicious skill/tool for the life of my most cherished dreams. Grateful to have outsmarted this addiction Grateful to be wary and wise to the ways of complacency Grateful to have the people, resources and lightness QT offers Grateful to be smoke free Grateful for my health and the health of those I hold dear Grateful so many people are willing to provide the services they provide to help, to heal, to comfort, to feed, to sustain in this swarm of covid-19 Grateful to have a brain in my head to think for myself Grateful to be aware when I behave like sheeple and to use above mentioned brain Grateful to have a beautiful woodland on waterfront to roam and observe spring doing it's thing Grateful to have people I love and to be loved in return....in ways that feel deeply loving. Grateful to have found the correct foot pattern for the waltz and to be practicing it (read dancing) daily

Considering the circumstances of us all, I am embarrassed (yet grateful) that I have had a fun pleasant connected day with my marvelous man (and cats). I noticed a few weak cravings at expected times. Didn't even need to spend any energy pushing the smokey thought away. It just quietly bowed out as I turned my attention to the next thing. Knowing the struggles, true deep struggles, I have had during previous quits...I can not express how dumbfounded I am at the grace and ease I am experiencing. So grateful for it. It has been way past time for me to quit for decades. Type, erase, type , erase...perhaps now is not the time to acknowledge or share my doubts of self and distill my prior patterns to see what I can do differently. Celebrate the small victories. 395 cigarettes avoided today! Completed 14 day exercise challenge (yep, did a 60 second plank...who, me? Yep.) Phenomenal.