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Markus Quote: And so you too will become exactly what you seek if you so choose it. You will lose yourself as you are, and become who you were meant to be, a free person. But, it comes at a price, and we have all had to pay it. You have to leave yourself behind to find yourself anew. Thank you for the mention of change. Sometimes I doubted it, with all the talk of the same person. For me, no, I am not the same. Possibly, it's the jet lag, or the OCD of machinery breaking, it's certainly making me feel jaded to life the no washing machine or dishwasher (how unfair for both to screw up together). The strange thing though, it makes me think how did I quit smoking...I chose a new way to be!! I read what folks were posting and thought, I want that, I can be that, and didn't light another cigarette that I was able to smoke!! I did light one but decided no, this was my quit day and put it out :) How mad is that!! I keep a lighter to light my candle but not a cigarette. That sh*t harms you and I don't want to die like I've seen around me! Lung cancer hurts, you grind your teeth and they disintergrate! Wow, that looks bad. COPD and heart failure, I live with these and it hurts my soul. I will fight!! I won't show my girls this!! I am pleased to have others who will fight with me so thank you. If you ever wonder is it worth it, this battle...then yes it is. I grew up watching people suffer and I draw the line here with you guys. I only wish we could influence more people. x