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6054 unsmoked cigarettes when I just posted something. That's just a save on so many levels!! There are a lot of new quitters I'm reading and some great advice being given. Wish I had of followed any of it haha. Claw through quitter, take a bow :) Many a mental moment, throwing my hands skywards and saying for Milly and I. The nope shuffle, switch from foot to foot literally saying nope nope nope. Should of taken shares in cough sweets and nobbys nut for sure...utter miss in planning :) I read that some people struggled at 6 months, I mean not like the early days but just more thoughts than 4/5 months sorta thing. Not my experience thank goodness. Feeling together and powerful. 5 months was utter pants for me on a personal level which of course upped my thoughts then - maybe I got it out the way? Happy and content with my quit. Peaceful again, secure, utterly delighted to not have smoked another 6000+ cigs. I look at who I am today and it's so different. I love to exercise. I love to do things with my kids, out and about and I can, because I have more money! My confidence is such that I can say no in a non aggressive way and it just is no. I was a slave for 23 years to nicotine and in honesty, I never realized how totally it controlled me. How it controlled my life, the movements of my life, the money in my life...every part of who I was had become tied to when I could smoke. I do love me a bit of freedom, especially when I never even realized that would come!! Less then a month to taking Milly and Bella on the holiday of a lifetime to Florida. 5 day disney tickets booked and paid. 2 day universal tickets booked and paid. rocket launch at kennedy space centre booked and paid....because we don't smoke anymore, because we are free of the tie and chose NOPE as many times as it took. Bring on any thoughts or craves, I have enough amo now that I can bat you back out of my brain within seconds. I breath, I live, I have money, I have self worth...life is pretty freakin good!!

I am having surgery early next year and part of this process is needing clearance from a pulmonologist. I finally had my appointment today. My chest X-rays looked great! (almost 3 packs a day... lungs look good? *wipes brow*) I did great on the breathing test! He was actually surprised to hear that I was ever a smoker. :D Woo hoo! I have sleep apnea (boooooo) This is a good and a bad thing. Bad because it is sleep apnea but good because it is one more justification toward getting the surgery. :D I go for sleep study in mid November. I am not looking forward to that because I probably won't sleep.