I screwed up I know. But I'll make it. I'm so determined. So more cigarettes, no more slip ups.  

I'm sorry hun, somehow I missed most of the rest of what you're going through. Are you getting some proper help, what do they say about not smoking right now? I do wonder and said in your sos this doing day 1 over and over must be so hard.

Day 1 one is definetly hard but worth fighting for :)

Nobody is pushing her, she is insisting she wants to quit even though we have said to her about waiting until she is sorted to quit but she doesn't want to,so do we just leave her be or help her, I am asking genuinely because in her vent thread I asked her to wait til she was better first but she wants to quit so what do you suggest we do,

Ignore her, help her, say nothing til she returns??????

(((((((((everlyn))))))))

And there she is hi, I should finish reading a thread before posting, yep it is a fight worth winning but gets easier xx

SueBeBoo, I wanna do this for me :)

Ev, are you listening to Comrade or Johnny or Ladybug?

I tried to convey that message a number of days ago too.

You JUST had a suicide attempt.

That stuff does not 'sort itself out' in a matter or days or a week.

Ev I am a nurse, I worked in mental health for years.

You, and some well meaning folks here, are doing you more harm than good in my opinion.

You have some HUGE changes coming up, a change in living circumstances, yes? You just started a new medication. You are on again/off again with nicotine patches and valerian.

Stop this.

Smoking is not your worry today!

It's just the easiest place to look because at the moment, you can make it appear that you can have control over that.......whereas everything else going on is out of your control.

You need proper medical intervention, assessment and treatment.

Your medical team needs to be part of your plan to quit smoking WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

All of us will be here for you when that time comes.

But Ev, that time ain't now m'dear.

You absolutely need to focus on your mental health.

Ev, are you listening to Comrade or Johnny or Ladybug?

I tried to convey that message a number of days ago too.

You JUST had a suicide attempt.

That stuff does not 'sort itself out' in a matter or days or a week.

Ev I am a nurse, I worked in mental health for years.

You, and some well meaning folks here, are doing you more harm than good in my opinion.

You have some HUGE changes coming up, a change in living circumstances, yes? You just started a new medication. You are on again/off again with nicotine patches and valerian.

Stop this.

Smoking is not your worry today!

It's just the easiest place to look because at the moment, you can make it appear that you can have control over that.......whereas everything else going on is out of your control.

You need proper medical intervention, assessment and treatment.

Your medical team needs to be part of your plan to quit smoking WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

All of us will be here for you when that time comes.

But Ev, that time ain't now m'dear.

You absolutely need to focus on your mental health.

 

I'm not a nurse like Julie, I have no medical training other than a first aid certificate which is probably out of date.  But please listen to her, she is making a lot of sense, as is Comrade Simba.

 

I will personally coach you through the smoking quit when the time is right if that will help, I just have genuine concern that the rollercoaster of emotion that a new quit creates may be detrimental to your treatment for your other problems.

 

Please please please talk to your real world Health professional, for guidance.

 

I know that you want to be strong, but sometimes strength is knowing when you need help.

 

Best wishes, J5 :-)

Nobody is pushing her, she is insisting she wants to quit even though we have said to her about waiting until she is sorted to quit but she doesn't want to,so do we just leave her be or help her, I am asking genuinely because in her vent thread I asked her to wait til she was better first but she wants to quit so what do you suggest we do,

Ignore her, help her, say nothing til she returns??????

 

Hi Sue,

 

I may be wrong, but personally I always try to suggest that if someone has complicated difficulties, that in the first instance they seek real world help from qualified health care professionals.

 

unfortunately the written word is subject to much misinterpretation, not helped because sometimes my grammar is not too great lol.

 

but realistically and joking aside, when we read someone's words, we have no idea if they are smiling or crying.  we can guess, but that is all.

 

I believe our duty of care is towards a persons immediate needs rather than the long term.

 

picture this extreme example.. I could shout at a sportsman to motivate, and drive him to go one more lap, but do that to someone fragile and they could break down and be crippled.

 

It's a huge responsibility I know, but by advising professional help, you are doing the best you possibly can.

 

I hope that makes sense and isn't too rambly?

Not going to add anything but a hug.

((((((((((Evelyn)))))))))))

I can do this. Do not make me doubt. Day 1 is almost over 5 pm

 

I do have care and my pdoc knows about the smoking so dont jump on my back "it's not the right time"

 

I overdosed last week to numb my emotions but it wasn't a Sui attempt .

 

Yes I needed help I saw my counselor and my pdoc so support me BUT DO NOT MAKE ME DOUBT MY QUIT

Evelyn, my reply was designed to stress the importance of other issues that are going on with you.....issues that you have openly shared with all of us. 

I am doubly concerned that now you are calling it a 'numbing of emotions' whereas a week ago you acknowledged that it was an overdose and an attempt at suicide.

I want to support you, befriend you, but that does not mean aiding in what I believe is harming you. There is a list of priorities here hon.....this feels like rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. 

I have an analogy that might help....

 

"Hello, I'm here for the support group."

"Oh, that's wonderful.  Is this your first time here?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well welcome.  What... if you don't mind my asking, what kind of cancer have you been diagnosed with?  I only ask so that maybe I can introduce you to some folks who have  similar diagnosis, and maybe you can..."

"Oh, I, ummm... I don't actually have cancer."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I have Diabetes.  Really bad.  Apparently when they took a blood sample the other day it was indistinguishable from the icing on a Cinnabon...

[silence for a minute] 

<cough>  ...yeah, that was a ... I was trying to be... anyway, I'm here for the support group.  They tell me this is the best one in the city."

"Well, I suppose it is, but it's for people with a cancer diagnosis."

"Are you telling me you won't help me?"

"No... I mean, not exactly.  But ... don't you think you should go where they're talking about what you're facing?  What you'll have to deal with?"

"But everyone says that the cancer support group has the most solid support -- it's been around the longest and... well, it's the best.  We're all sick and frightened and need help, why not come to the 'best' place to get it -- support-wise, I mean."

"Yes, but ... here they talk about how they feel when telling family and friends about their diagnosis, or how to stay upbeat while waiting to get on a new drug trial or how to cope with depression after a difficult round of chemo..."

"I'm going to have to tell my family and friends about my illness.  I'm going to have to stay upbeat while I wait for stuff from the doctor.  I'm going to be depressed after ... stuff."

"I'm... I'm sure you are.  But..."

"For a support group you don't seem very welcoming."

"It's not that I'm... don't you think you'll get more out of a group which is talking about Diabetes?  How to deal with changing your diet, or sticking to your exercise regimen, or the best way to administer your ... "

"I don't want to hear about those things, I want to hear what you have to say here.  Are you telling me I can't come in?"

"No, it's just ... I mean we welcome anyone but really I think you'll get more out of a group which talks about your specific..."

"Look, can I come in or not?"

"I... yes.  Yes."

"Good.  I have a lot to say about how I'm dealing with my diagnosis and I need a safe space to ..."

"Wait, you want to talk about your Diabetes diagnosis in a Cancer Support...?"

"Sick is sick, and afraid is afraid and it's all the same thing."

"No.  Yes.  But..."

 

Sigh

((hugs)))

Heh heh, well I guess I'm left with saying keeping away from the razor blades trumps not lighting up. Stay in good cheer and perhaps this quit will be the easy peasy one!.

Evelyn, there's a seat right next to me on this train. Set down beside me, and let's ride this out together.

 

I've had so many excuses, it's not even funny.

 

I'm quit and staying quit, just like you!

I kept my quit for the first day, no excuses

Iamdoingit I'm behind you