I have been posting on Smoke Free lately and it seems pretty good. I got into an argument on the forum today. I posted that 1 out of 2 long term smokers will die from smoking. It is on ALA website and Joel also says it. I was met with anger that I would post something so negative. Was I out of line?

Hi, @Kdad. Each forum a has it’s own culture and each comment has a context. Your remark has a factual basis (it’s from a long term UK study published in the 1990s). So that’s not the question. The question is whether it was contextually appropriate on that forum and at that time and place. Is there a moderator or someone else in that forum you could ask for feedback? Or does that the community have any published ground-rules that you can look at? 

 

No ground rules that I saw. My comment did resonate with some but I guess it upset  others. I took it down.

I know when I was a smoker, anything that reminded me of the ill health effects of my addiction scared me. That fear came out as anger, and I'd often lash out at the people speaking truth to me, regardless of how kind they were about it. Without any further context, I'd say their anger toward you likely isn't personal, but a result of the fear they feel. The most I think any person can do is to remember empathy and do their level best to speak the truth as they understand it in as kindly a way as possible, without sacrificing the truth for the sake of being nice.

I agree with @DenaliBlues and @Penguin that it was probably contextual. Maybe if you had of added something like it being just another reason to keep your quit and if you're not quit then to quit. Maybe it wouldn't have sounded as negative?

Yep, I thought the reason to quit was obvious. They really are more about encouragement than learning facts. Lot of people quitting with NRTs and vaping.

Take what you want K and leave the rest 

my friend 🐸