Evelyn

I AM doing it right now

Another brand new day, and I chose NOT to smoke no matter what today. NOPE

You all are right. I need to commit to my quit. Lighting what's in my mouth is NOT an option. All is true accept I am not feeling sorry for myself.

Obvious there's something why I relapse: the combination of boredom and loneliness make that I relapse. It's no excuse I'm trying to find the triggers... I live alone without many friends and being disabled makes me vulnerable for a relapse. Feels like I can't escape it. I don't work. This feels powerless. But in fact the power lies within me. I think there are more ways of distraction I can tap in from.

You're right, i doubt myself

I can make it stick I know I can

I pledge not to smoke today

I want it to stick... But when I switch between different personalities that's when I don't have control. It's not meant as an excuse it is what it is. I dunno how to communicate better, that smoking is not done

But I just smoked - again!

I annoy people with my relapses I need to get my motivation straight!

I try to make statements of them in my mind!

I am doing what you said :)

I already cried 3 times today, because of the withdrawals. I feel like banging my head and bang it out of it. Which of course is only an example. But who came up with the name hellweek was right!

Sorry my English isn't that good - what do you mean by that last sentence?

I'm doing everything to pull through - it's hellweek indeed.

So this is what nicotine does to me. When I stop using this addictive stuff, I become sensitive, anxious and still I refuse to take a natural sedative. Now I know how it keeps me in it's grip. I will ride this train. And though my antipressivant Nortrilen helps dealing a little with the worst withdrawals but after smoking almost a whole pack I could have expected this. I'm an addict, and NOW I understand why I need to pull through, Go straight forward. As long as I keep going in this circle; smoke - quit - smoke I hold an addiction alive. i'm ready to stop this cycles. NOW I've experienced how hard it is to say no - how addictive this junk is. My eyes have gone open. This stuff forces you to use it and eventually kill you. Well, not me

A VERY BIG HUGE NOPE! I will not smoke today!

It's nobody's fault accept mine... I have to stay my junkie thinking one step ahead

I smoked and I feel awful. It was a lame excuse and I just didn't argue with my junkie thinking. What a hang over. I'll start from scratch tomorrow. Bedtime now

It's good you unruffled your own junkie-thinking!!!!

We're all here for you :)

I will not smoke no matter what today NOPE

Thanks

You rock - awesome job!!!!

YES heck week is behind me, and since no one had already opened a topic I did. I'm so glad I pulled through.