ceeray

Thanks for the Quick response jillar. I have been torturing myself. Tried to bombard my mind with Allen Carr, hypnosis, even called the quit line for weekly counseling. I am trying to turn my back (or excuses) away from daily drama. No matter what we ALL have that. It is my excuse why I "can't." I even loaded multiple APPS on my phone with my quit date that was supposed to be last November. Imagine the shame when they keep popping up telling me how much money I've saved. SHAME... Guess I need to delete them - since trying to put in new quit date doesn't work. I feel lucky to have stumbled here as the resources here are plenty and hope to put me Over the .... what is word? REMOVE THE IMPEDIMENT! So please excuse if I start ranting - I've nowhere to put it. HB quit after catching a cold - just like that - now I'm sneaking around again after failed hypnosis - I do know he's concerned but I cannot quit for him. Now I'm an addict lying about how much I'm smoking - and everyday asked what the plan is. I'm not blaming him its my fault. Sigh. I do feel ready to quit - SOMETHING is pulling at me. FEAR? I know I just keep dipping my toe in the water. No worries - I won't smoke along with NRT. That's a fear. Although I don't know how to get through the first few days without something after what I experienced. So I don't start (the quit) again. Mar 1 looks like my new date. Thanks for the listen. I going to keep looking here and posting.

Just got on this evening and was looking around - my fear rose.. shocker - I'm scared all the time anyway. Looking through AndrewAsh and Loamie specific I immediately felt the crave. Here's where I'm at. Went through On-line $$ hypnosis on 1 Feb. I was for sure it would work - (but dreaded it) - I immediately went to sleep for long nap - awoke and long story short made it just before Super Bowl and broke. Bout 36 hours. I tried to sleep through most of it - but I cried and cried and couldn't even get out of bed. So disappointed in myself. But - I guess I had to learn. Been a long time since I've felt withdrawal. Well - not since 8 hour plane ride - but that's easy since you know you can have one eventual. Now I've made it to being a nighttime smoker. Most of you know - I'm playing a game with myself. Somedays its 10 somedays its 5. I'm telling myself I'm getting used to not having them. Trying the Allen Carr method of dealing with that feeling. Now thinking of cutting a 2mg lozenge in half - since I think even 2mg at one time is too much. Sigh.... I'm a mess. Not happy smoking - not happy not. This is no way to live. Comment please.... Thank you.