Thanks for the Quick response jillar. I have been torturing myself. Tried to bombard my mind with Allen Carr, hypnosis, even called the quit line for weekly counseling. I am trying to turn my back (or excuses) away from daily drama. No matter what we ALL have that. It is my excuse why I "can't." I even loaded multiple APPS on my phone with my quit date that was supposed to be last November. Imagine the shame when they keep popping up telling me how much money I've saved. SHAME... Guess I need to delete them - since trying to put in new quit date doesn't work. I feel lucky to have stumbled here as the resources here are plenty and hope to put me Over the .... what is word? REMOVE THE IMPEDIMENT! So please excuse if I start ranting - I've nowhere to put it. HB quit after catching a cold - just like that - now I'm sneaking around again after failed hypnosis - I do know he's concerned but I cannot quit for him. Now I'm an addict lying about how much I'm smoking - and everyday asked what the plan is. I'm not blaming him its my fault. Sigh. I do feel ready to quit - SOMETHING is pulling at me. FEAR? I know I just keep dipping my toe in the water. No worries - I won't smoke along with NRT. That's a fear. Although I don't know how to get through the first few days without something after what I experienced. So I don't start (the quit) again. Mar 1 looks like my new date. Thanks for the listen. I going to keep looking here and posting.