manesha_t

Hello everyone, my name is Manesha. I'm 24, currently in college in Ohio but I'm from California! This is the first time I've ever joined a forum, so this is all really new to me. I started smoking at the age of 14, had a lot of alone time being an only child so I would experiment with the wrong things. People around me in my family such as my aunts and uncles smoked cigarettes so it was definitely around in hindsight. I never thought I could really get addicted to something (stupid, really) but hey look at me now, 10 years later and I've smoked more than I ever thought I would. I probably smoked 1/2 a pack a day by the age of 16. It was how I blew off my stress and nerves dealing with my mother, I guess. We always had a rocky relationship in my teenage years and I never felt I had anything or anyone I could turn to, so I'd sit in my bathroom and smoke cigarettes. Just talking about it now, it seems very idiotic, but anyways at the time it seemed rebellious but I wasn't hurting anyone but myself. My mom eventually found out and we would get into more fights and more arguments. That only made me want to do it more, then starts the addiction. Now, age 17 I'm smoking on a consistent basis. I came to college and got in trouble for smoking in my dorm, it was becoming a problem in my life. I wasn't even enjoying it anymore but I couldn't stop. Finally, 24 years old I'm just emotionally exhausted of cigarettes having such a control over my life, my day, what I do next, etc. I started Chantix, took it religiously for 3 weeks, and it worked wonders for my cravings. December 14, 2018, I went to Cabo for vacation and decided I will not have another cigarette. Not buy a pack when on vacation, the minute I leave the airport I'm done. Today is January 3, 2019. I haven't touched a cigarette or Chantix since I left but now I have smoker's flu and it's kicking my ass. Is this real? I researched it and it said nicotine withdrawal can mimic the flu, but this seems so real. Anyways, I'm just glad I stumbled upon this site, you all seem like amazing people. It's nice to meet you, I apologize for the ramble lol.