Thanks guys! Tomorrow will be the toughest day I know. I really have battled to quit this time as I haven't found the enthusiasm I had the last time I quit. It just feels like a struggle and yes, a deprivation. I know I know - it's not one - all the intellectual know how about addiction and keeping it off the table and not debating and riding waves is all there - just taking a bit of effort this time for it to really really ring true.
Not here to discuss why I started again - we all know certain personal stuff can trigger destructive behaviours from the past - And it's so far from who I am now but my old emotional brain has convinced me for a while to play out old roles and beliefs. But now I'm tired and want my real life back.
Mostly I hate what it does to my sense of self, confidence, efficacy etc... not cool. So freedom from this asshole will be awesome. Just need to get through a few days of moderate discomfort and it looks like I'm in a good online space to share some of that! You're all very special for responding and sharing your wisdom.
Here's to the real day 1 starting soon.....and the first NOPE ;)