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Im tired, Im emotional, Im stressed, Im running from place to place, I shake my fist up to the sky and say Please enough already, I plod, I'm not at work, I'm not doing my exercises, I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating, but the most important thing through all these I'm nots is I AM NOT SMOKING, I thought I would crumble, after my relapse, I honestly thought that at the next part of high stress I would just smoke, but I didn't, have I finally realised and accepted that smoking really is not an option, the thought of lighting a cigarette honestly makes me feel sick, yes the thought is there, but its not welcome, the door is not fully open to allow it access into the deeper recesses of my brain, I am not holding my hand out to welcome it back in. If the nicotine demon tries to get in any further, I am shutting the door in its face. I recently read a wee comment on facebook which I loved and I think is appropriate at this time (Marti my lovely a wee nod in your direction xxx) Nicotine please accept my middle finger salute to you......