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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)
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My shameful secret

I have a shameful secret that I never shared with anybody... I find staying quit harder than the original quitting. This has bothered me for months. To this day, I feel that I could easily and happily go right back to smoking 2 packs a day with no problem.   The weird thing is that I am NOT romancing the cigarette. My rational brain knows perfectly well that there are an endless number of reasons NOT to smoke and zero reasons TO smoke. But here I am 11 months quit and I don't feel any bette
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

14

Getting help wherever and whenever you can

My mother got settled in at a rehab facility the other day so I was able to come home yesterday. It's a long, boring drive (8 hours) so even though I listen to talking books, I do sometimes wish I had a cigarette to break the monotony.   At one point I stopped to get gas and use the restroom. As I was leaving the store I was looking around a bit. The clerk caught my eye and asked if she could help me. I said, "Yes. Tell me no." She looked puzzled and wary but said, "No." I said, "Thank you." T
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

7

I'm the only one...

Good news-- my mother has recovered enough that she will be transferred to a rehab facility today. Excellent! She has been treated at this rehab facility before and likes it so I think that the familiarity of the people and the routines will help her to feel secure and to recover faster. So assuming that she does get to rehab today and get settled in, I think I will be able to go home tomorrow.   I wanted to share an observation with you that has nothing to do with smoking but which may come i
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

6

Bye bye, Sis

My sister just left for the airport to go home. I did NOT fight with her this week. I did NOT smoke. Hooray for both of us!   Basically, we stayed out of each other's way. We took different shifts staying with Mom at the hospital. During the few hours that we were in the same house, we stayed in different rooms and ate different meals at different times. We spoke as often as necessary about Mom's condition and care and other than that we had nothing to say to each other. A sad state of affairs
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

9

Mom's doing good

Just a quick note to let you know that my mother got through her surgery without any problems. Naturally, she will need close observation and aggressive pain management for the first 72 hours, but so far so good.   Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. I'll write more later.   PS-- I'm not smoking and not even jonesing about smoking. Hooray!
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

8

Better than expected

I am happy to report that so far things are going better here than I expected. In the first place, I'm feeling pretty calm about my mother's condition. She's resting comfortably in the hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon. The doctors and nurses are being good about controlling her pain (i.e., they are listening to me and accepting my advice :) ) I don't have to get aggravated about her care. What happens after the surgery remains to be seen.   My sister and I have been able to peacefull
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

5

Good time to vent!!

Florida in the summer is NOT my favorite place, regardless of which coast (I'm near Tampa). Mom was admitted to the hospital today for presurgical testing and, barring any problems, surgery is Thursday. Then several days of waiting to see how her body handled the surgery. She is very frightened (when we left the house to go to the hospital she said, "Good bye, house." like she was never going to see it again. UGH!)   My estranged sister arrived this afternoon (not good news). Even worse, she q
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

6

Not looking forward to this...

Heading down to Florida tomorrow. Not looking forward to this but it's gotta be done so here I go...   It's always a long, boring drive (7-8 hours). Thank God for talking books (free from our public library!).
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

6

Buying some insurance

I quit smoking 5 months ago today. I'm doing very well and I'm very confident of my quit-- most of the time. The worst challenge I had occurred a few weeks ago when I had to go to Florida for a week to help my mother. She is 92 years old, lives alone, and has some major health issues. Being with her 24/7-- seeing her frightened and suffering and despairing-- pushed me to the brink of relapse. Once I got home, I re-started low dose Chantix. I stopped that after about 2 weeks and I'm fine again.
Chrysalis

Chrysalis

5

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