Okay I stuffed up but I'm back in the saddle and as housmates begged for fags at the neighbors and became the victim of their addiction i realise i have a choice:

Stay addicted or pull thru and become nicotinefree again.

 

All of you reples convinced me to climb on the train. Am I fragile yes but I will not let this addiction create another problem.

 

junkiehead saw it's chance Saturday, Sunday i had to get a grip and today I am back.

 

Thanks to all of your support, not judgemental replies. That was screwing me up the most, being a looser blowing a 9 month quit. But as i develop and grow new triggers appear, unexpected and i let the junkie in.

 

No more!!!

 

Smoked the last last night.

It's noon here. I still have a choice to become addicted crazy or cut the crap and become a free person again.

 

BTW those fags tasted terribly. FYI to all struggling old quiters

 

Thanks for being unique QT members

Is this the real you again? Strong enough to do what she knows how to do? If so close out those other threads with nope and tell everyone

???? I don't understand???? what happened in that hour????? who cut you???

I know what you mean about letting that junkie in.  Suddenly we're being tricked into these stressful emotions (fear, anxiety, rage, despair) and we need to figure out how to experience them.  That's all.  Just experience them - - - not DO anything for once.  Just let them pass on through and feel them. 

 

Hopefully we can avoid interaction with others when these experiences happen.  No need for victims.  I know I haven't been good about this part and I'd really like to improve upon that.

 

Evelyn, I stand in solidarity with you.  I also suffer from a mental illness.  I know it's hard for everyone but I truly believe it's harder for those of us with fairly severe mood disorders. Plus, being a young woman with our hormones in flux - it's not the easiest for us.

 

I believe you can do this...I believe you will find the strength to feel proud of yourself again.  You will rebuild and you will be stronger and smarter as a result of your recent failure.  Believe it.

 

<3

Perfect.