April 4, 201511 yr "Fortune Telling" is a cognitive distortion. This and other boards are always available for someone to pop into. However, as Markus has said, repeatedly, one needs to establish accountability for one's own quit, and this board, and all the various smoking cessation sites online, are for support. What is or isn't dangerous to one's quit is relative. For me it would be dangerous to have family, many of my friends, coworkers or a partner smoking around me all the time. I've had this in the past, and it weakened my resolve to not smoke. Not in a day, or a week, or a month. But eventually it had an impact on my quit. I am fortunate that I don't have that now. (Unfortunate for the family smokers, many who have died.) Drinking isn't something I want to mix with a new quit. I recently had a beer without smoking just to see how it would go, and it was fine. However, that was just an experiment. I'm not in a drinking culture now, but in the past, drinking has ruined a quit. Not in a day, or a week, or a month. But eventually it impacted my quit. For me, in the past, drinking + stress + flip flops = relapse. (Okay, maybe not the flip flops...) I can't tell someone else what would be dangerous to their quit. Everyone is different. People do things I could never do. Certain things work for me in this quit that haven't in the past. For instance, I have found coffee and smoking are separated for me in this quit, much to my great happiness, as I love my espresso. On the other hand, I haven't been listening to much music, because for some reason, with this quit, music is a heavy trigger for me. I had a successful 7 year quit, and then went back to smoking during a stressful period in my life. So all I really know for certain, is that once addicted to this demonic thing...one must remain ever vigilant, even when enjoying the beautiful freedom of not smoking. No quit is ever 100% secure. It haunts me to remember how easily I threw away a perfectly peaceful 7 year quit during a stressful time. That is why I love N.O.P.E. so much. My downfall was to think I could have just one. I love the N.O.P.E. philosophy because nope is key. Accountability, vigilance, and education is what keeps a quit from becoming dangerous. Then...just N.O.P.E. Nope is the main shield and protection, and I love nope with all my heart.
April 4, 201511 yr Maybe I was lucky, but I was the last in my immediate family to quit. Some of my smoker friends snubbed me, it stung..but whatever. That just makes it easier for me to embrace my smoke free life. If that made me undesirable as a friend, then whatever who cares. I'd rather be a non-smoker than everybody's friend. My quit is so important to me, that I won't expose myself to that poison. Nobody, but you can protect your quit. I drank 2 months in,but I was with non-smokers so I was good.
April 4, 201511 yr I think realizing and internalizing the fact that I was not a 'unique snowflake' that was 'more addicted than most and therefore nothing I could do, just stuck with it for life' helped me a lot.
April 4, 201511 yr Before I had quit in the past I didn't guard my quit and would hang out with family and others who smoked just because I thought I was so strong to over look it. I realize now that wasn't the case especially if there was drinking around. I would almost always fold under those circumstances. Since I have given up alcohol too this will help me guard my quit in the future.
April 4, 201511 yr Yep. Booze always lowered my inhibitions. Then the shit started to happen. It's nice to not have to worry about that smoking trigger!
April 4, 201511 yr Author Interesting description of passive and active approaches. I think I prefer passive approach, just taking situations as they come. Having identified stress as biggest obstacle, I could challenge myself more, like "attacking" my tax prep instead of procrastinating, like am now doing. I have faith that if I just keep not smoking, I will relearn everything I want and need to relearn.
April 4, 201511 yr Maybe I was lucky, but I was the last in my immediate family to quit. Some of my smoker friends snubbed me, it stung..but whatever. That just makes it easier for me to embrace my smoke free life. If that made me undesirable as a friend, then whatever who cares. I'd rather be a non-smoker than everybody's friend. My quit is so important to me, that I won't expose myself to that poison. Nobody, but you can protect your quit. I drank 2 months in,but I was with non-smokers so I was good. Hey Colleen. I read in another thread titled like "No Man's Land" I think now, that the OP and our posters here have said, to share our challenges here. That's one of mine. My wife smokes. Every time I go to the kitchen, there are her smokes. I know that I have, (well that last time I went sinking into the abyss of smoking, I was going out the back door, to face some challenges, and it was all too easy to grab one of hers and walk out. I know it's no excuse but, I do wish I didn't have to be reminded all the time about them. No, she refuses to keep them out of eye-sight. It does worry me some. I know sure as hell I am not the only one who needs to, or has faced this in their quits, (I'm thinking of the Sgt. here), but I would really like to not have the temptation like you, none the less. So, just my bitch, of how my quit is going. Thanks.
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