Some of the old timers around here know my story, but I thought I'd share it for those who are relatively new.  Also, it's definitely on my mind, as my "anniversary" is impending, on 10/13.

 

Seventeen years ago, my 42 y/o brother died of lung cancer.  It was a terrible, grueling death, exacerbated quite dramatically by his shame and guilt for his smoking, which he was unable to quit even after the diagnosis and many treatments.  Indeed, after he lost consciousness for the last time, he was still making smoking motions with his hands, bringing imaginary cigarettes to his lips.  Thankfully, I was able to visit him to say goodbye on the day before his death, though I had to leave to get back to work the next day, four hours away.  

 

I don't have much memory of that next day, October 13, though I did go to work and teach my classes; then, as was typical those days,  I went to the gym after work.  In the locker room, I collapsed with a major (so called "Widowmaker") heart attack and cardiac arrest--strangers found me (blue and not breathing) and some emergency CPR and AED were administered as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.  Unconscious, I was taken to hospital, where I remained in critical condition for three days with very low chances of survival and even lower of surviving without significant cognitive impairments.  

 

My crisis occurred at 5PM; at about 9PM, Mark died.  Two hours later, given the horror she had experienced, his wife took her own life.  I would learn these facts only several days later after I had regained consciousness, and I'm told that they needed to be repeated to me dozens of times because of my initial cognitive and memory challenges.  Shortly after I was told, I'd ask again, "How is Mark?"  I imagine that it was incredibly frightening and sad for my parents and wife to hear this.  

 

I share this story not for pity, but as a testament to the ravages of smoking.  Mark was a heavy smoker, and his wife smoked even more.  My own emergency was caused in part by my thirteen years of heavy smoking, from 18-33.  I had been quit for seven years before this health catastrophe, but it definitely played a role.  On the other hand, every doctor with whom I've worked since has told me that I had absolutely no chance of survival had a still been a smoker.  Zero.  So quitting smoking literally saved my life at age 40.

 

Given what I saw with my brother, I've become convinced that while I absolutely quit for a better life, I also quit for a better death.  

 

Thanks for listening (sorry for the "trauma porn"), and keep the quit everyone!

 

Christian99

Nearing 24 Years Quit

 

 

Such a moving - and motivating - story. Smoking has stolen so much from us, giving us nothing but bondage in return. I am deeply sorry for your losses, Christian… and deeply grateful that you quit “in time” and found us here! 

So very sorry for your loss, and I am very glad that you quit when you did! Definitely moving and motivating!  Smoking does so much damage in so many ways!  I honestly don't think I could have quit without everyone's help on here.  I am so grateful for all the support I have gotten the last couple of years.

Thank you Cristian for this honest post 

I am sorry for all the trauma smoking has caused in your life 

Thank you for sharing this , please if your sitting on the fence wondering whether you should Quit , there is no happy ending with smoking 

Quit today 🐸

"I've become convinced that while I absolutely quit for a better life, I also quit for a better death."

 

This was my bottom line motivation for quitting.  I absolutely did not want to be in active addiction at the end of my life, especially if I found myself in a care situation due to a stroke or heart attack.  Couldn't imagine any facility or family member supplying & babysitting me while I smoked.  Absolutely didn't want to go through withdrawal (physically, emotionally, psychologically) while bed or wheel chair bound.  Etc. etc.  

 

As a former QuitNet member I remember reading your personal profile page when I joined there at six months quit.  It definitely had a impact on me to stay the course.  Thanks for sharing.  Sorry for your personal life circumstances.  Hope we have both done enough (quit smoking & took steps to regain better health) to change our end.  Best Wishes.

+1 on the “better end” motivation. Not wanting to be a care burden to my loved ones (at least not for preventable reasons) was one of my goals, as well.  No knowing what the future holds, but I rest a bit easier knowing that I’m taking positive steps to get healthier and avoid the anguish and resentment that I might have imposed on my family. I’m lucky to have a great spouse/mate and  want to hold up my end of that bargain. 

Edited October 16, 2025Oct 16 by DenaliBlues