October 21, 20241 yr Good evening, everyone, I am embarrassed to say that I have been addicted to the nicotine patch for many years. I started my journey when I seriously quit smoking in 2003. I had short and long periods of not smoking, but always with the help of the nicotine patch. I would have a relapse from smoking, smoke for a period and then put the patches back on and stop smoking again. Over the course of many starts and stops, I would get back on the patch at 21 MG, drop to 14MG and in some cases 7MG but I would always end up relapsing totally and smoking again. And then the nicotine patch dependency cycle would continue. I am not sure why I am writing this, but I want this madness to STOP!! This past week, I finished my last 7 MG nicotine patch on October 15, 2024. Day one nicotine free started on October 16, 2024. Today, I felt like I had a massive craving THE WHOLE DAY.... and found myself romancing the nicotine patch in the same way I use to romance cigarettes. I am feeling a bit sad today with the realization that I never allowed my body to really deal with nicotine withdrawal so that I could truly move on and be FREE. My body was buzzing all day. I was feeling fuzzy. My brain was searching for a dose of nicotine which never arrived. I was doing a brain scan and imagining that the neurons were reaching out for the nicotine patch that was not on my back. Now how is that for stinging thinking eh? LMAO I was around smokers and thinking that maybe I could just have one, that would help right? WRONG And I heard myself thinking that I should just put on a nicotine patch and make this crappy feeling go away. That would help right? WRONG All that nicotine will do to is cause my brain to want MORE NICOTINE to maintain a false sense of temporary equilibrium. This short-term fix will cause my brain to want more nicotine. My old way to deal with any kind of stressful event was to run to smokes to change my body chemistry. For some reason, I had this mistaken belief that cigarettes made me feel better. And when I stopped smoking and added Nicotine patches, I developed the false belief that I needed nicotine to live a normal life. This is wrong stinking thinking. Cigarettes and any form of nicotine had nothing to do with improving my life. Staying on the nicotine patch just makes my brain want more nicotine. I feel like I am at ground zero all over again…… I need to wean myself off Nicotine! .... NO, I actually have to get off Nicotine COLD TURKEY! Just for today I am saying, Not One Puff or Nicotine Patch ever! Edited October 21, 20241 yr by Genecanuck
October 21, 20241 yr Hey @Genecanuck, everything you're feeling is totally normal and temporary but only by going through it like we all had to do. Weaning will only prolong the inevitable as I'm sure you know so put on your big boy pants and let's get you nicotine free once and for all!
October 21, 20241 yr Author 9 minutes ago, jillar said: Hey @Genecanuck, everything you're feeling is totally normal and temporary but only by going through it like we all had to do. Weaning will only prolong the inevitable as I'm sure you know so put on your big boy pants and let's get you nicotine free once and for all! Yes @jillar ... I hear you. Many thanks:)
October 21, 20241 yr Good for you for reckoning with your nicotine addiction, Gene. Whether it’s smoking, vaping, the patch or lozenges, nicotine is a powerful chemical. Confronting it is an act of courage. Saying it aloud is important… sunshine is a great disinfectant. Withdrawal is lousy for a while, so saddle up. Addict Mind will spew all kinds of BS at you… it will moan, whine and wheedle. It will tell you quitting is not possible, that you’ll die without your fix. It will say “just one” won’t hurt. Don’t fall for it. You can beat this. You’re in a great position to give nicotine the heave-ho for good! You are knowledgeable about addiction. You have many tools at your disposal. And you have all of us here to cheer you on. The intense cravings are temporary. Distract yourself. Take it one minute/hour/day at a time - and stay committed to NOPE - and you’ll do fine.
October 21, 20241 yr Author Thank you @jillar and @DenaliBlues .... I am waking up today feeling very commited to NOPE. Its funny. My first consous awareness is to to scan my body to see if I could feel that every so slight nicotine withdrawl buzz. I know at that point I always put a patch on. This morning. I am not feeling anything except maybe a very dull rorar in the background. I have many friends and co-workers who have never known me as a smoker. Thats because I have been a closet nicotine patch user for years. When I did have my cigarette smoking relapses, I would hide them and smoke in private, and then return to work or with non smoking friends wearing the patch. I would even make sure I had washed stinking cigarette smelling clothing. I hated that smell and knew that non smoking friends and co-workers would know right away that I was smoking. Not one Nicotine Patch ever! Thanks for your support. Gene
October 21, 20241 yr Hi Gene, When I quit smoking last year I started off with the weaning method, eventually smoking 2 cigs a day, one in the morning and one in the evening. Unfortunately, the weaning method didn't work at all because I was in constant withdrawal and always on edge. I joined this board around the time that I was weaning and everyone told me I had to give up the cigs totally. So on May 23, 2023 I went totally smoke free. It was very hard for me in the early months, but, it was much easier than the weaning method. That's why you can't have any more of those patches. You will do it and we are all here for you to help you! Every day that you don't use the patch, your cravings will become less and less. Just take one day/hour/min/sec at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!! 👍😃
October 22, 20241 yr Author Good morning everyone, I woke up today feeling ok about my quit. It almost feels like a non issue that I am not smoking today or using nicotine patches. Of course this is what normal feels like right? Only a brain that is addicted to nicotine would think that it is normal to be jonsing for nicotine and mentally fighting the urges to put nicotine in your system. I think my real journey is about recovery. I have to start looking at the reasons I started to smoke in the first place. Nobody is born and decides early on in life, gee, I want to become a drug addict that is addicted to smoking or nicotine!!!! Life happens and then we start to develop negative, self defeating coping mechanisms. When I was fourteen, I was a very insecure teenager that was desperate to make friends and be accepted. I really started smoking with my peers because I was feeling lonely, depressed and not loved. Smoking became my pathway to acceptance, friendship, being cool, feeling accepted, coping with situations where i felt socially awkward or anxious. As an adult, I get to find postive coping mechanisms to deal with all of the above. I have to parent the self and support that emotional 14 year old and tell him its all going to be ok! You were always loved and accepted. You just did not know it at the time. Keeping my quit. Not one puff or nicotine patch ever! Gene Edited October 22, 20241 yr by Genecanuck
October 22, 20241 yr Glad you're feeling good today Gene that's awesome ☺ Try not to over think things. I started smoking at 17 because it was cool and everyone was smoking back then. My mom had us lighting her cigarettes for her when she was driving and no one really thought anything about it. Nowadays I can just imagine the remarks and dirty looks she would have gotten.
October 23, 20241 yr I’m proud of you Gene , your fighting for your quit , you know how precious and delicate it is … so guard it well One day , one minute if you need it , I was 11 when I took my first puff , hanging out with the older kids trying to be big , in the back alleys of Liverpool . who knew I’d be in my sixties before I got a grip , I had a punching pillow , drew a face on it of someone who was giving me grief , when I got a crave , I punched the hell out of that pillow , it used to fly through the air Ahhh I felt gud We all need to find our coping mechanism dear Friend Upwards and Onwards 🐸👍
October 23, 20241 yr Author 13 hours ago, jillar said: Glad you're feeling good today Gene that's awesome ☺ Try not to over think things. I started smoking at 17 because it was cool and everyone was smoking back then. My mom had us lighting her cigarettes for her when she was driving and no one really thought anything about it. Nowadays I can just imagine the remarks and dirty looks she would have gotten. Thank you @jillar ... This reminds me that all the values, attitudes and believes about smoking have changed today..... Thank goodness! But there is no sense in leading with judgements about the past. Its just important to focus on doing the right things in the now. gosh, overthinking things is what I do often lmao..... Edited October 23, 20241 yr by Genecanuck
October 23, 20241 yr Author 43 minutes ago, Doreensfree said: I’m proud of you Gene , your fighting for your quit , you know how precious and delicate it is … so guard it well One day , one minute if you need it , I was 11 when I took my first puff , hanging out with the older kids trying to be big , in the back alleys of Liverpool . who knew I’d be in my sixties before I got a grip , I had a punching pillow , drew a face on it of someone who was giving me grief , when I got a crave , I punched the hell out of that pillow , it used to fly through the air Ahhh I felt gud We all need to find our coping mechanism dear Friend Upwards and Onwards 🐸👍 Thank you @Doreensfree .... guarding my quit big time. That little girl in you did not know that she could always stand tall with the big kids without the ciggies!!! My coping mechanism these days is to just feel the internal buzz of anxious feelings that trigger thoughts that I need nicotine, and let them be. Deep breathing and relaxing always disipates this feeling. The craving for nicotine always goes away! And even when that background buzzing does not disipate, its ok. Eventually, if I do not feed my body nicotine, that internal buzzing will go away. Upwards and Onwards @Doreensfree, Warm Regards, Gene Edited October 23, 20241 yr by Genecanuck
October 23, 20241 yr Author On 10/21/2024 at 8:04 AM, QuittingGirl said: Hi Gene, When I quit smoking last year I started off with the weaning method, eventually smoking 2 cigs a day, one in the morning and one in the evening. Unfortunately, the weaning method didn't work at all because I was in constant withdrawal and always on edge. I joined this board around the time that I was weaning and everyone told me I had to give up the cigs totally. So on May 23, 2023 I went totally smoke free. It was very hard for me in the early months, but, it was much easier than the weaning method. That's why you can't have any more of those patches. You will do it and we are all here for you to help you! Every day that you don't use the patch, your cravings will become less and less. Just take one day/hour/min/sec at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!! 👍😃 Thank you @QuittingGirl ... I agree with you that the weaning method always delays the inevitable work that needs to be done/ Many thanks for your support. Edited October 23, 20241 yr by Genecanuck
October 23, 20241 yr Author 11 minutes ago, Doreensfree said: lol Gene I’m just not reaching 5 ft , I’ve never stood tall 😂😂😂😂 Awww, but who said that stature had anything to do with physical height eh? 🎀
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