I spent the afternoon with my friend who has cancer. It was so nice to see her . But when I left  all I wanted to do was go buy cigarettes!!!! damm it was a struggle not to. I know it was not going to help the way I was feeling. Knowing how bad they are for me. Sure seems like it would be the last thing I would want after seeing her struggles. I know it will get easier but sure didn't seem like it was yesterday. Felt like day one yesterday not 4 months. Thanks for letting me rant. She is the most positive person I have ever met and my dear friend. Her faith is so strong I wish I had more of that. She said Linda no matter of my outcome I am a winner either either way, and we know the outcome  is not good. And here I am whining about a damm cigarette!

Edited May 12, 20215 yr by Linda
Spelling

Gosh Linda it was days like that that I would get out my JAC (jillars air cigarette) and it would quiet my craves. You did great in not giving in so be super proud of yourself.

Your friends outlook is wonderful to read and will get her far in her treatment. Or in whatever decisions she makes regarding treatment. I love the "either way she's a winner". 

🤗

@jillarThanks ,she is truly one beyond amazing person, that's what make it so hard for me

Your friend sounds like an amazing and beautiful person! I’m glad that you were able to spend time with her and I’m so proud of you for not giving in to the nicotine demon. 🤗🙏🏻