Newbies and lurkers - rest assured I did not smoke a pack of cigarettes.   Way back in 2016 one of fearless leaders @jillar shared a great tool - the air cig.  Put your  fingers up to your mouth.  Take a drag of air.  I termed it pack of JACs.  Jillar's Air Cigarettes. Hard to do in public these days.  My security blanket was a straw, cut down to the size of a cig.  That did not work for me tonight.  After all these years, I dove into a pack of JACs.  

 

I'm sad to admit that this evening - all the stress of life in the USA, life in my own existance, came to a head in my own head.   I've been in a state of unease for quite awhile.   When I reflect back on my near panic attack this evening - I realized I did not crave a cigarette.   I craved breath.  The shameful Pavlovian response for decompression breathing resurfaced.   I found myself with smoker's fingers married to pursed lips.  I inhaled quiet air.  Clean.  Deep into my lungs.  Deeper into my body.   Exhale anxiety.  Exhale stressors.  Exhale my own breath- without purchased toxins. 

 

My fellow quitters have great success stories.  Faded triggers, broken routines have secured their path to a lovely life as an ex-smoker without looking back.  

 

The tender path to reformation is longer for some.   Do not let it thwart your efforts.  

 

The suck it up buttercup mentality is great for some.   I chanted that mantra for months.  Maybe years.  It worked until it didn't. 

 

I did not smoke.  

 

I did not want to smoke.

 

I was startled by my stress response.

 

After all these years - I still require a physical motion to decompress. 

 

Do you?  If no- OK

 

If so- OK.  

 

Okay?

 

Okay.

 

 

I tell you lust, when I first read the clue myself I was skeptical but tried it for fear of relapsing and could not believe how well it worked. The simple act of pretending you're holding a cigarette in your fingers and then going through the motions of "smoking" it. That is by far my number one go to for anyone who is having a bad crave. And I got and still get backlash for giving that clue because some see it as a step backward. I see it as keeping a quit! 😊

Great post Lust.....

I still now and again have a thought of the dreaded smoke....

It's what you do with those thoughts that matter.....because we know they won't last long ...

When I lost Hubby ...of course a cigerette came to mind ....it was a very stressful time ....

But I knew deep down ..it would have solved and changed nothing ....only ...

How much I would have hated myself ...and been disappointed .....

JAC...is a amazing tool...

Keeping that wonderful  quit is the main thing ....

Stay strong ...