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Icanhike
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I completed day 17 without cigarettes. I learned on this forum to drink a lot of water, and that advice made my cravings easier to handle. This is the place to find lots of help. I'm getting some "surprise perks" from quitting. I was always the slowest person in the house, and my family had to wait around while I functioned in slow motion. But now that I've quit, I get things done even faster than my husband. And he's stunned! I think smoking slowed down my entire life. And it's tremendous fun to suddenly be faster, without even trying. But apart from the perks, I don't have smoking as a way to numb my feelings anymore. We moved about 7 months ago, and although it was a practical choice, it was against my wishes. I used to live in a very sunny place, and now I live with a lot of rain and snow. Lots of gray skies, mud, slush, ice and bare trees. A symphony of gray and brown. No, not a symphony..it's the Mamas and the Papas. You know the song..."all the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey, I've been for a walk, on a winters day, if I didn't tell her, I could leave today....California dreamin, on such a winters day..." Yeah, I hear that song in my head all the time, because that's how it looks outside. It's so gray, I can't believe it. And I really wish I could go home. But smoking is separate from this. Smoking won't bring back my sunny porch, or the hummingbirds I used to feed, or the lizards, or the funny desert trees. It'll just poison me and kill me. Smoking shouldn't have anything to do with the fact that I moved, or that I'm crushed with homesickness. I'm so proud of myself for quitting, but I wish I didn't crave cigarettes when I'm upset. I'm working on being constructive when I'm upset, but I don't think it will happen over night. But still, it feels so great to have quit. There are no words for it...I am thrilled to be free!!!!
