April 3, 201511 yr Quickly, I haven't again. I was reading a thread, in which El Bandito had stated in it, as he has to me too, "Quits fall down for all sorts of reasons, and I will not judge anyone. If someone wants to quit - I will do everything in my power to help and support, but I do believe that the person needs to have a very close look at why they failed - rather than keep on the same old cycle". Reading that bolded statement again, outside of it being queried to me, made me think a little more about it. I don't have answers that can encompass the true nature of all of it, yet. But, I know a couple of things now. 1) Complacency with the quit. 2) Looking for solace. 3) Decision to destroy myself or another way to put that, "ruin myself", (remember this is me, not anyone else). That's all I have now. That's enough for me actually. Now to address these, and guard against it happening again ... * El Bandito: I'll send you a link for the thread's quote in a PM. No need to respond.
April 4, 201511 yr Strangely, moments ago, I 'fancied' a cigarette. Something in line with number 2. I felt like one, why can't I have one? Fortunately, I have retrained my brain so that quite quickly a a thought comes along that says "given that you don't smoke, why would you fancy a cigarette? Muppet" and the thought is gone. I put it down to programming. Spending many years 'valuing' that first cigarette in the morning, before the rest of the house was up and about...some vestige of that remains. It doesn't bother me any more, it just pops up now and again.
April 4, 201511 yr Strangely, moments ago, I 'fancied' a cigarette. Something in line with number 2. I felt like one, why can't I have one? Fortunately, I have retrained my brain so that quite quickly a a thought comes along that says "given that you don't smoke, why would you fancy a cigarette? Muppet" and the thought is gone. I put it down to programming. Spending many years 'valuing' that first cigarette in the morning, before the rest of the house was up and about...some vestige of that remains. It doesn't bother me any more, it just pops up now and again. I'm going profound here .... And say'n what the bandit said !! :-)
April 4, 201511 yr Thinking I may be helping me with my emotions...that maybe I would be escaping them That I had to have the cigarette with the drink. Now I have given up both I would have more energy, temporarily at best. I would lose weight only to gain it all back later I will just quit again...wasn't so easy this time even though I smoked less than half a pack but it was growing slowly
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