Sad to hear this but you have actually let yourself down; not us. One day you'll be back at a point of wanting to rid yourself from the chains of addiction. I just hope it's in time to save your health from seroius effects smoking can be the root cause of. And yes, as @RebeccaFinneyAuthor said; it's important to uderstand what brought you to the moment in time where you decided somking would be the best option for you. We all learn from out mistakes but that's only if we realize why we made those mistakes. Best wishes to you @Pilgrim!

You really haven't let anyone else down @Pilgrim , only yourself however I think even if you're not ready now to quit, I still strongly recommend sticking around and re-reading everything here and watching the videos again. It WILL happen that you'll find the strength in you to quit for good.

I hope you're doing okay and do come back to update us if you can. You have everyone's support here. 😊