Everything posted by Cbdave
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Monday 21st August 2023
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Sunday 20th August 2023
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Saturday 19th August 2023
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Friday 18th August 2023
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Thursday 17th August 2023
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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..
PS FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4.. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. DINING OUT 1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are. PERSONAL HYGIENE 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY) 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the restroom wall two years ago.' 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. 4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, 'Ya' sure don't sweat much for a fat gal.' WEDDINGS 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say 'Yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle . 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER: 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records
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Wednesday 16th August 2023
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Tuesday 15th august 2023
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Monday 14th August 2023
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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..
G’day My Grandad recently had to start using Viagra. Grandma took it pretty hard.
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Sunday 13th August 2023
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Saturday 12th August 2023
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Friday 11th August 2023
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Thursday 10th August 2023
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Wednesday 9th August 2023
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Tuesday 8th August 2023
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Monday 7th August 2023
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Sunday 6th August 2023
- Saturday 5th August 2023
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Friday 4th august 2023
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Thursday 3rd august 2023
G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required)
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Wednesday 2nd august 2023
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I Have COPD… yes me… a personal journey
Gday Well I got sent off for heaps of tests. First the heart people. No lasting damage my heart that was good! The ear nose and throat mob got a try. They couldn’t find any thing of note and wrote off my slightly raspy voice to the normal effect of aging ( thanks I needed that). Next was respitory. I was really surprised to find the tests had now put me in the normal zone. Lower percentage but normal? The doc explained it bluntly If this was a race your coming last. If your running with the pack your the straggler. So I have to except that I still have COPD. My doses have changed but I still take a puffer. I’ve been encouraged to keep the weight off and the walking regularly. And the smoking warning. Always the smoking warning. Easy to say, yes I know, but really I just shut up and really take that in. I wasn’t unlucky COVID gave me a hard time cause I had smoke damaged lungs, I have COPD. I wasn’t lucky in surviving COVID I’d given myself the best chance being a long term non smoker. Thanks for listening, it’s good just to say this all. Hope it helps someone. It certainly helps me just saying it Chris
- Tuesday 1st august 2023
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I Have COPD… yes me… a personal journey
G’day Mid 2022 COVID finally got me big time. As soon as tested positive I contacted my doc. He organised antivirals and medications. An oxygen reader that went on your finger. Got a call ever morning from the doc and a couple of calls fro the nurses over the day. So I hunkered down at home to ride it out. It’s all a bit hazy now but I remember day 4. I couldn’t breath when lying in bed so I got up to clear my lungs and sat in a lounge chair so I could get a breath. My oxygen was 90 dip below that and I must call an ambulance. Fell asleep and woke next morning my oxygen had got back up. Sleep the next week in that chair untherwise I just could breath. Damn COVID knocked me pretty bad. The effect would last. Took me 7 weeks to get back to work then I could only do a couple of days in a week. Was weak and tired for 6 months. Even though I still walked dayly I had to husband my energy I knocked up pretty fast. It was a painful and scary part of my life. I was really afraid that the COVID had damaged me far more than COPD had. But somehow I healed and got back on my feet