Vivian, I have dealt with very abusive parents in my lifetime and over the last three years I have been taking care of them because they are old and have failing health. I was so beat down and very depressed.
I then found this forum and started to quit smoking. As I posted SOS's and my feelings, many people here noted that I was dealing with abuse. They encouraged me and made sure I knew that I was gaining power with my quit. It is now a year later and I have walked away from the burden and feel so powerful and in control of my life.
Yes the addiction is going to try and play on these emotions but you need to realize how strong you are. I have been so impressed with the way you are pushing through your quit.
I promise that as you keep powering through, you will become so strong. You are an awesome woman and your new relationship sounds wonderful. I know you are going to have a happy smoke free life!