I Didn't Click "Send"

"Hey, buy me a pack of smokes on your way home..."

"Stop by the smoke shop and bring me a pack?"

"Rough day, can you grab me some smokes?"

I typed those out in my head, to my husband, over and over this afternoon, but I never sent them.

I haven't had a cigarette since October 16th.  No nicotine since last Thursday and here we are on Tuesday and I'm still hyper obsessed with cravings and withdrawals.  Seems they have been lasting all morning for several hours the last few days -- just relentless.

Whoever made the video claiming that after the 3rd day without nicotine your little cravings will "happen 3 times a day lasting 5 minutes each" was entirely and utterly hallucinating -- or straight up lying.

Still coughing a little, nothing productive but it won't go away.  

I've put on probably 10 pounds in the last month now and all for the sake of feeling every bit as crappy today as I did the first few.  On a positive note: donated ALL the rest of the Halloween candy to deployed troops so several purposes were served... soldiers get a little treat, daughter learns about giving thanks & showing appreciation, none of that stuff can make my ass any bigger now.

3 cheers for tomorrow not sucking as badly as today did.