The weather is finally getting nice it so strange trying to stay in the mind set of being a non-smoker. The warm weather makes the urge greater. Sat I spent the day exhausting myself with the thought that physical exhaustion would help. But it is strange the smokes I still miss the most are the ones when I have physically exhausted myself with exercise./activities/ cleaning or errands. I wonder how long before my brain will be re-trained for those moments. I haven't written much in these blogs. Never really got the whole Blog. I was a big journal keeper always was. But that is so much more private. It doesn't lay out there for others to see. Journaling helped me travel to where I am today. Journaled through the end of my terrible marriage journaled through my days in Al-non journaled through most all life struggles. Those memories are recorded and kept in a safe place. They all reside in a box a box of memories and tribulations. My sister also is a journaler we have an arrangement is something suddenly happens to either one of us the other knows where the box of journals are. And we are each charged with removing the box so nobody will ever peep into the most private parts of our life. So anyway Blogging seems similar to Journaling but one is for no one else to ever see the other seems like thoughts you wish to share with whom who knows maybe just yourself maybe with others. Spring is making me feel nostalgic and actually sad yesterday it made me sad. I couldn't put a finger on why the sadness but it was there under the surface. Maybe Spring starts the thinking process because after the sleep of nature during Winter everything is now waking and becoming new. Just a thought to think about.