I just know

I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy.

I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done".

I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon.

My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know this quit is safe. Ipay it forward, for sure, but I choose to do that as much as I choose to not smoke. Reading a newby journal (thanks oneistoo) has cemented where I am, as has my quit buddy hitting a year and messaging me saying "I fell off last night" as a joke to highlight my previous faux pas. That is what I did, 364 days and boom, carnage. Never again! I am stronger than all of that.

I will stay quit cause I choose that. I will choose freedom from toxic people because I choose that too. I will fight for who I am because actually, I know that now and that makes me smile. Do you know I am raising strong independant and powerful women...and I'm not sure I even knew I was to lead by example, but it's all good...I am!

I weirdly find that I can do whatever is needed and I can do it smoke free. My newest Jen was surprised my situation didn't cause a crave but it really doesn't. No matter what my life throws at me I choose the freedom from nicotine. It's not even an option anymore, it has been a done deal for a while.

It feels good to finally write...my quit is properly done. Just here making up the numbers now :)