**Moving Forward & Letting Go**

Let's remember why "Off The Record" was created.

"Off The Record" was created so members could have a more private forum to share things that they wouldn't necessarily want guests or lurkers to see.  Topics in this forum should not be about quitting smoking because those topics should be visible for all to see as they could be helpful to those thinking about quitting or providing help to those who have already quit.

A reminder from our community guidelines:

We are just one of many online support groups that exist to help smokers rid their lives of this deadly addiction and to help those who have quit, stay quit.  Therefore, we require that our membership abstain from posting any negative comments about other quit smoking message groups, their members, rules or philosophies.  We're responsible for creating our own presence and all past issues should be left at the source.

I think it's important that we've all been able to vent our frustrations about past issues and unfortunately, current ones as well from other forums.  Even though that is not why this OTR forum was created, I understand the importance of talking about such things because it helps us heal, move on and look to the future.

Having said that, the future is upon us and as a community whose sole purpose is to help people quit smoking and stay quit, we must move on from the past and focus on what our goals are.  I'm well aware that other forums will not let things go and that's their mess to clean up, not ours.  If we're ever going to move forward and put this behind us, now is the time.  I don't want this OTR forum to be deemed a gossip forum because that does not echo who we are as a support community.

As I've stated elsewhere my views on freedom of speech or more aptly, the freedom to be published, as is the case here, I'll mention them again.

There is a difference between freedom of speech and the right to be published.  Freedom of speech will only give people the right to make their own web site to express their opinions, but they may not demand to be published on any other web sites.  A good example is book publishing: You may write your own book, but you may not go to a publisher and demand them to publish it for you.  If you want to publish it, and there are no publishers willing to do it, you would have to print the book yourself and contact any stores and ask them if they would sell it.  If nobody will sell it, you'll have to open your own store to sell it.

So, if members want to make negative comments about other support groups, they can make their own forum to do so but expect to met with possible legal action because if those support groups are there to make money, they can come after you.  I've seen it before.  Nothing like that has happened here and I won't even let things get close to that, but it's my responsibility to make the final decision on these matters and I make them based on what's best for this community as a whole.

This is a quit smoking support community.  Making negative posts about other similar websites, members etc., does not promote the atmosphere that will be maintained here.  It does nothing to help other members regarding their addiction and most, if not all members are here because they don't want that kind of atmosphere.

Everybody is free to say what they want and it's my responsibility to decide if it meets the perimeters of this forum.  There is one thing that I've repeatedly expressed in these threads and private messages and that is please do not make negative comments about other support groups or bring up issues from other forums.  Those issues belong to them, not us.  Besides, they're not here to defend themselves so it does no good to bring these sorts of things up anyway.

With freedom comes responsibility.

It's my responsibility to protect the integrity of this forum and it's members.  This is a responsibility that I take very seriously because our reputation is everything and will follow us as we move forward.  We will not follow the lead of others and instead will create our own presence.

I'm not going to lock threads or delete them as my hope is that everybody understands and respects my wishes.  I would, however, like to see any thread about the other place fall out-of-sight.  There is nothing to be said about these issues that hasn't already been said and to keep it going will only take our focus away from the bigger picture.  If you still feel that you want to discuss such issues, and I completely understand that you might, please do so in PM's or emails. 

Thanks for understanding.--MQ