SMIRKS

 

How much trouble can one person get into in an hour and a half?

A lot, with the right company.

I've been a naughty, naughty girl. :D I may need a spanking. 

 

My sister has decided she wants to take Alex for a week. 

She says I need to go be me for a little while. Im lucky to have her.

Alex hasnt looked so relieved/relaxed in over a year, as she has since we moved. I have no doubt I made the right decision. Though she loves her father, and we would both (alex and i) LIKE to make things better, we cant. This is his choice, I think staying would have just been emotional suicide for both of us. I cant do that to my 15 year old. Especially as he is out this very second.

 

I hate cellphones and video/pictures/text shares at any given moment. You dont even get the opportunity to deny what it looks like.

Though, I am pretty sure you cant say.."this isnt what you think"..as youre snorting coke off the toilet.

 

I am off to a great start.

Filing for divorce next week.

I thought about smoking.

 

I almost bought a pack. Just for the sole and simple reason of "**** this Im going to be me too..he is doing it"

Memories. Back stepping.

But thats not me now.

 

I am no longer an addict, or dependent upon anything or anyone.

 

Hard indeed. But grateful every day that I wake up, stronger.

 

*the cheri diaries on quitrain* <---LOL! yikes.

 

 

You gotta prove you can do this.

You wouldn't be human if in a moment of intensity your thoughts didn't waver a little to f it, I could smoke. Your quit will face down many "old habits" before it closes down, but there is nothing that can hurt you in a thought. I'm pleased you closed it down.

 

For the man and daughter stuff, sending strength to you. Also a troublesome journey and one which your strength will guide you through. I wish you good and healthy gut instincts to help your inner strength.

 

x

Hi Ceri, don't let anything he does affect your quit... Let him be him, and you be you, and you don't smoke! You are doing great :)

so glad you are seeing the life you desire living unfold and that you remain free. 

 

 

What'll you do for the week?

Thanks all.

Kendra, Ill be working all but Wednesday. Thankfully its busier than it has been so Ill be distracted as opposed to the recent idle that has been.

I dont do well idle.

Meeting with lawyer then.

Pretty sure Ill be on here at some point after. Signing contracts makes me VERY nervous.

 

I really am hating whats going on now, but...Ill get through it. I always do.

Not looking forward to any of this.

 

All he had to do was not be a dick. Not shove coke up his nose again. Check into a program. Show he gave a **** some how.

Be a ******* man.

Why was that so hard?

 

Oh right.

Addiction.

Silly me.