11 sleeps to the big one

I am weirded out by all the smoking dreams. Awake I know I'm not at risk...if only my subconscious would catch up!! Posted and asked for if others felt it.

Awake, I am feeling stronger. Like the quit is strengthening me. I will celebrate my 1 year this time and I will stay quit, because it is different now. I don't actually want to be a smoker, so the other option is non smoker isn't it. Simple really.

Would I smoke if the end of the world was nigh. No, I'd have people to be with and be too busy to waste the time. If I was terminal. No, I would want to feel as well as I could - I felt lousy as a smoker, no breath, no energy, lousy. I smile now because there isn't a situation that could make me want to smoke anymore. It wasn't always so. I was the epitomy of fake it till you make it.

Still no idea on a treat. Maybe I'll save for a holiday I will actually enjoy this time. With the right people.