CanDoCouldBe

The woman who reads my gas meter drove up a while ago. It was when I started imagining her having an unexpected lay down in my mud room as I rummaged her pockets and her van for cigarettes that I knew I have a serious problem. Fortunately I refrained from that action. I did find a single edged razor blade and made five small vertical cuts in my lower lip. With these I know I can't smoke and missing a few meals won't hurt me. With antiseptics and minimal mouth movement I expect to be relatively healed in three or four days. I should be past the worst of the withdrawls by then. Thank you all for your wonderful input, but I guess some solutions are best found on one's on.

Nineteen waking hours with no nicotine. While I listen to everyone here telling me how good they are, all the reasons I should quit, and how wonderful they feel, even rainbow farting unicorns, I am ready to commit violence. An hour ago I was reduced to going outside to the ash bin looking for smokeable butts. As I am nearly thirty miles from the nearest place which sells cigarettes, I had the bright idea of giving my car keys to my father-in-law so I wouldn't be tempted to drive there. Cream of tartar with OJ. Honey. Turmeric. Hard candy. Toothpicks. No gum in the house, I looked. Ran until my feet hurt. My dog won't even stay in the same room with me. Showers, hot and cold. I want a MF< GD $#%^&*$*^#$@&* CIGARETTE!

Wow. Comments run the gamut from sanctified to sanctimonious. I should have known better. There's nothing new here.

Let me see....I am 64 years old and smoked since I was 17. I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, alienate others with my frustrations and anxieties, completely change my life.....OR I can continue poisoning myself, have a heart attack, die, go to Heaven (which everyone says is a much nicer place than this toilet of a world in which we live) and again be with my dead wife whom I love and miss very much. Hmmmm Decisions, decisions.